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I was downtown on some errands when I decided to take a side trip to a local
porn shop and video parlor. Well actually, I planned my errands that day as I
usually did in order to take advantage of the opportunity to visit the video
booths at the shop. Whenever I knew I would be in the area, I would be
overwhelmed with this obsessive desire to visit that place where I could view
the depraved sex acts that turned me on so.
My wife would never understand this perverted desire I harbored. After 18 years
of marriage our sex life had slowed until it was now completely non-existent. My
wife was no longer aroused by any thought of sex. After many months of talking
to her about it, she finally confessed that she just had no interest in sex
anymore. Early menopause had destroyed her libido and with it her interest in
sex. It wasn’t my fault she assured me she just had no interest in sex at all,
with anyone, not just me. She was in love with me and completely happy with our
relationship otherwise, as was I, but I still had a tremendous sex drive that
went unsatisfied. She just chose to ignore it as long as I didn’t bring it up.
And I hadn’t for some time because it no longer did any good. So, there I was in
a loving relationship, but one devoid of any sex. I struggled with thoughts of
having an affair with another woman, but in the end, guilt always prevented me
from acting on it. I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever experience sexual
fulfillment ever again. As my frustration grew, so did my desperation. I began
to think about sex day and night. Sex with women my age, sex with younger women,
sex with just about any attractive woman whose eye I might catch in random
encounters.
Ever since I was a teenager, I was curious about what it would be like to have
sex with a man, and more specifically, what it would be like to give myself to
another man to be used for his sexual desires. But after I was married, I buried
any thought of it. But since sex with my wife had ceased, those old desires had
surfaced again...in a pretty big way. The more I entertained ideas of sex with
another man, the more aroused I became, until I found myself craving such an
encounter. I constantly fantasized about being on my knees with another mans
cock buried in my mouth. I rationalized it away by telling myself that it really
wouldn’t be like an affair, it wouldn’t be like cheating on my wife. It was
different, separate from that. It wouldn’t be about sex with another woman after
all. I was fantasizing about sex with a man. That wouldn’t be the same, it was
OK I told myself. Soon I was seeking out places like this porn shop. I had this
running conflict within myself; if I just watch some gay porn and relieve
myself, maybe I wouldn’t move to the next step, I reasoned. Well, self
stimulation and self relief only went so far, and that wasn’t far enough. It was
a conflict that had to be resolved soon…one way or another.
I finally arrived at the porn shop and entered through a side door. I found my
way down the now familiar dark hallway to my favorite booth and entered quietly,
closing the door behind me. I put five dollars in the machine and began to scan
through the videos looking for one that aroused me. I stopped at a video of a
man on his knees giving another man a blowjob. Perfect, I thought to myself. As
I became engrossed in the video, I loosened my pants and began stroking my cock.
The man on his knees appeared to be a very experienced cock sucker, but what did
I really know of it myself, I thought. Each time that he slid his mouth up and
down the other mans shaft, he took it deeper and deeper into his throat until he
was soon taking the full length. I was so excited watching this and only wished
that it was me on my knees sucking that big cock instead of him.
I was so enthralled with the video that I was unaware that another man had
entered the booth, locking the door behind him. I didn’t notice that he had been
watching me through a crack in the door where I had inadvertently left the door
open. He took the other seat which was slightly behind me and I became a little
nervous. Although the room had two seats, it was barely large enough to
accommodate two people. Although I had always fantasized about sex with another
man, that’s as far as I had gone, to my own fantasy world. So far I had never
acted on it, or even attempted to, but I was quickly weakening in my resolve. I
simply couldn’t take it much longer. Concerned that he might have scared me, the
man tried to engage me in some small talk.
“I hope you don’t mind my sitting here.” I mumbled a quick “no”, and went back
to the video.
“I’m getting hard just watching it, and I see that you are too”, he said as he
looked at my hand stroking my exposed cock.
I guess that’s pretty obvious, I thought. I was wondering – no, secretly hoping
– that he would just skip the conversation and make some kind of move. To my
astonishment, he did just that. He leaned forward and reached down to my open
pants and began stroking my stiff cock.
“You must be really turned on, your cock is rock hard”, he said as he squeezed
my 6” cock. I moaned slightly as he stroked my cock some more. I found my
inhibitions waning and I started spreading my legs to give him better access to
my cock.
“Do you fantasize about being the guy standing there getting his cock sucked, or
the guy on his knees sucking cock” he asked as he looked up at the screen.
In an almost involuntary response I said, “The guy on his knees...” It was like
an out of body experience. “The guy on his knees”, I repeated silently to
myself. Had I really said that? Well, I sure didn’t feel any remorse if I did, I
thought. I felt a mix of nervous fear and uncontrollable desire as I began to
think where this might go next. This was looking more and more like my moment of
truth. My nervousness turned to craving as I thought of being like the man in
the video…on my knees sucking this stranger’s cock. My mystery man released my
cock and stood up behind me, loosening his pants as he did so.
“It’s time you stop fantasizing about being like the guy on his knees, and
instead start acting like him. Get on your knees in front of me here” he said in
a more commanding voice as he motioned to the space between the two seats.It was
as though I was being controlled by some unseen force. I turned and knelt on the
floor in front of him as he had told me to do. It was dark in the theater and I
couldn’t make out his features clearly, but I didn’t want his face anyway, I
wanted his cock. I could see that his pants were open and his cock was exposed,
but beyond that, I could see little else clearly. He put his hand on my head and
pulled my face towards his open pants. As I drew closer I could now see his
semi-hard cock. I couldn’t make out much detail. I only felt the warmth of his
organ and the musky, man smell as he pulled my face into it.
“You’re going to suck my cock like a slut” he said.
I shuddered and suddenly felt warm all over. I then began trembling like the
virgin I was. The way he took charge of me and told me what I was going to do
turned me on like flipping a switch. With his hands on my head he directed my
lips to the head of his cock.
“Kiss it”, he said.
I complied with the best kiss I could muster with my now dry mouth. He moved the
large rubbery head across my lips as I stuck my tongue out to lick it.
“You’ve never done this before, have you”, he said in an experienced, knowing
way.
“No, I haven’t”, I said. “But I want to learn.”
“Well you’re in luck, then”, he said. “But there are conditions…”
He pushed my head down until the head of his cock passed my lips which were now
wet and receptive. His cock seemed fairly large as its head filled my mouth…and
it was only in a semi-hard state. He took my head in both hands and began
pushing my head down on his cock. It grew in my mouth as I began to suck it, and
soon it completely filled my mouth. I began to tremble more now and even started
shaking slightly as I realized that I was fulfilling my life long fantasy of
sucking another man’s cock. This is wrong, I thought. It’s depraved to want to
suck another man’s cock. Why was I doing this? You want it, and you crave it.
You want to be a subservient cock sucker…and you won’t ever be satisfied until
you are, a little voice in my head answered. I bobbed my head up and down on his
cock sucking it as I always dreamed I would. His cock grew much larger and soon
I couldn’t take half of it into my inexperienced mouth, yet I wanted to try…oh
how I wanted to try.
He suddenly pulled his cock from my mouth and said,
”Do you like sucking my cock, slut?”
“Yes, I do”, I said as if still in the middle of my out of body experience.
“Do you want more of my cock?” he asked almost matter-of-factly.
“Oh yes I do, I really do”, I said submissively.
“I’m looking for a little slut like you to service me. If you want my cock you
have to swear to be my little slut and come home with me now and do as I tell
you to.” He said in a more commanding voice.
There it was, an invitation – no, more like an ultimatum. This man intended to
have his way with me and all I had to do was give myself up to him. I was
unnerved by his directness, but so aroused and stimulated at the same time that
I knew that I dare not say no to him. I had to follow him home, and yet I knelt
there in frozen, paralyzed silence. He pulled my face back to his crotch, and
after guiding my head up and down on his shaft several more times he pulled out
and said,
“I’ve asked you if you want to come home with me and fulfill your craving for
cock you little slut and you don’t answer me? Now you’ll have to beg me to take
you home with me. Beg, slut!”
“Yes, I’ll go home with you and be your slut and service you.” The words made me
even harder as I thought of what lie ahead.
“I don’t think you really want it, slut. I said BEG!”
“PLEASE, MAKE ME YOUR LITTLE SLUT! TAKE ME HOME WITH YOU AND MAKE ME YOUR WANTON
LITTLE COCK SUCKER. PLEASE, I’ll DO ANYTHING YOU TELL ME TO …!”
I shouted the words so loudly that I’m sure they heard it in the next room. I
didn’t care. I wanted this man to use me, to humiliate me, and to defile me as
he wished.
“That’s better, slut. Come with me.”
I stumbled to my feet, zipping up my pants as I followed behind him like a dog
trailing something sweet. I walked behind him in silence for about three blocks,
my heart pounding with anticipation. Soon we came to a two story building where
he opened the door and led me up a flight of stairs to his apartment where he
opened the door for me. After we entered, he locked the door, turned and said to
me,
“You will obey all my commands from now on. You will not question what I tell
you to do, and you will surrender yourself completely to me. I will use you for
whatever perverse and depraved pleasure I desire and you will submit yourself
obediently. Is that clear, slut?”
“Yes, I’ll be your willing, submissive, and obedient slut”, I said in a
trembling voice.
I was completely obsessed with the thought of servicing this man in any way he
commanded, no matter what type of debauchery he had in store for me, I committed
myself to yield to his desires and become his shameless little cock sucking
slut….and I would derive great satisfaction from servicing him.
“Good, that’s what I expect.”
He left the room momentarily and returned with a robe. He then led me to another
room where there was a TV, an easy chair and an end table next to it. He closed
the blinds, turned the lights down low and said:
“Take your clothes off, put the robe on and wait here for me”, he ordered.
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