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I sat lying there tired still, not sure how long I had been sleeping.
Something had shifted its weight in my bed and startled me from my sleep. I
tried to reach down and scratch my face and rub my eyes to get the sleep out of
them, but when I tried to shift my weight I noticed that my arms were stuck in
place. I tugged my arms forward and felt my bed shift with the flexing of my
arms.
As I continued to rose into consciousness I realized how futile my attempt to
move really would be. I felt with my fingertips around my wrists which were
wrapped with some type of cord or wire like an extension cord or something. At
this time I became completely aware of my own inability to see anything which
was followed by the realization that something was wrapped around my face. These
facts made me really regret being such a hard sleeper.
I started to freak out hard core. My pulse started to race my body got all
clammy and my breathing was fierce. Sharp pangs of panic ripped through my body
and I began to tremble uncontrollably. I drew in a breath… “Ben!”… “Hello? Ben!
Are you in here… anyone?”
If I was still in my bed then surely Ben would hear me, and if not him then
someone there was a full house of my fraternity members and I was screaming at
this point for anyone’s attention. I kept wiggling around on my mattress
searching for any weakness my restraints. There was little give from either end
of the bed, legs or arms.
I thought I heard a slight bit of ruffling like Ben moving in his bed or
something coming from my right side. I turned my head as if I could make eye
contact with who ever was over there. I dropped my voice to a whisper this time.
“Ben… psss… Ben was that you.” I waited a minute and when he didn’t reply I got
frantic again. “Shit Ben, come on man this isn’t funny say something or I’ll
scream.” And I did scream and it was like no one could hear. I didn’t hear
footsteps or doors opening. I did hear the ceiling fan and our dehumidifier so I
knew that I was still in my room that did little to comfort me.
“Alright Ben, seriously say something I know this has to be your doing.” Or
at least I was starting to believe that Ben was the only person who would do
something like this to me, then I started to think about it a little more. What
if it was some type of hazing and Ben wasn’t apart of it at all. Maybe it was
some initiation right of passage thing that the house did to all the sophomores
in the house. The thought of this shut me up quick. I continued to think about
my situation and waited for something to change.
I listened to the dehumidifier oscillating and the pressure building inside
of me was echoing in my ear with each beat of my heart. “Tyler…”, “Tyler you
little slut you want me inside of you.” The voice was a whisper I was sure it
was Ben’s though. Actually I wasn’t sure of anything it could have been anyone
really. I hoped it was Ben so I believed it was Ben. “Ben?” then silence again
so I tried something else something crazy I don’t know why I said it but out it
came “Cameron?”
Once again I listened for some kind of reaction. Then I heard the springs
shift in the Ben’s bed, whoever was here had been watching me from the other
side of the room. Then I heard feet touch the ground stepping on mislaid papers.
Now I was slightly more afraid it was Ben. A sudden rush of fear and guilt
washed over me. It didn’t help that I suddenly noticed that I was completely
naked and exposed atop of my bed.
I could hear Ben’s rhythmic breathing on my left side now I turned my head to
look in his direction again, chewing on my lip with nervousness. I felt the
intense feeling of my own breath as my chest rose and fell into empty space.
“Ben” I was passive and submissive, “That you Ben.” He was still coming closer
and I felt his body press against my mattress and the weight shift as he climbed
onto the edge. He slowly drug his hand across my abdomen it felt more like a
cloth he slid it across so gently but its warmth assured me that it was
fingertips. I trembled under his touch as he excited parts of my skin I don’t
think I had ever felt before.
Finally he placed his hand on my chest on the center of my chest plate so
that my center of gravity on the bed was shifted up and across my shoulders, and
deeper breaths would have been more labored to press against the new force. I
knew that if this was Ben that I had to worry about his “sweet and sour” play
that I knew him for. And I started to fear that my brief pleasure was quickly
about to turn to pain. “Why did you call me Cameron?...you’ve been fucking
around have you? Shame shame you’re my bitch Tyler” The pressure on my chest
plate increased and slide up till Ben had a warm grasp on the base of my neck.
“Ben seriously” I tried to say in a sure and calm voice but it quivered with
fear underneath it all. “Do you trust me” he said it more than asking or caring
to know the answer. I couldn’t think he had never done anything like this never
gone this far without my knowledge first. But before I could even form a thought
he slapped me across the face he yelled I yelled and it all blended in to the
sound of a chirp chirp chirp of my alarm.
I slowly open my eyes hoping that I was back to reality and that everything I
had just experienced really was just a dream. I check my surroundings its dark
in the room with just a slither of light shinning in through the window blinds.
I roll over onto my left side and reach across to shut off my alarm. While still
turned I look over and check to see if Ben is in his bed which he is. His back
is turned to me and I watch as his body rises a couple inches and falls again in
the dim light.
In the next couple of seconds I take the time to do a quick check on my body
to make sure once and for all that all that really was a dream. My wrists seemed
to be fine no marks or rope burn so I felt pretty sure that the Ben fiasco was a
dream. I was wearing the same clothes that I had gone to bed in the plain white
t and a pair of old athletic shorts that were probably a bit too small but fit
just right for sleeping. It wasn’t until then that I noticed that I had a hard
on which reminded me once again of my special date with Cam. And then thinking
about Cam made me think about the dream which made me feel guilty all over again
and as quickly as the hard on had come my sadness washed it away.
The rest of the week came and went without much interaction on my part for
either Ben or Cameron, but almost all of my free time was spent thinking about
both of their and mine situations. And by the end of the week I was beginning to
relax again, I mean what did I have to feel bad about really? It was Ben who had
led me on for an entire summer just to come back together so that he could
pretend that he didn’t even know me.
If he found out about any of this and he was upset I would just have to tell
him that it was his fault anyway. And as for Cameron I didn’t know what I wanted
or what he was looking for but I decided that I would just have to be open to
any situations with Cam as they presented themselves. After all he was a really
good guy and he had been nothing nice to me so far.
The talk in the house was consumed with this weekend’s first football game.
And the atmosphere was stir crazy because no one new if our first tailgating
activity of the year would be able to take place due it raining most of the days
that week. But when Saturday rolled in it brought clear skies and the house woke
up early that morning to set up for the event.
It was a great site a house load of guys 70 or so all out in the park next to
the field barbequing playing games scantily clad and just acting like a bunch of
boys, trying to attract the attention of freshman and get good publicity out for
our house for when it came time to recruit. The ground was particularly soft and
almost swampy in some areas so we had to watch our steps.
It was about midday when two guys in the house Tim and Chris pulled up in
with a couple of couches that they wanted to set out in the lawn so people would
have a nice place to sit. They called out of their truck for some help and it
just so happened that Ben and I were on opposite sides of the same couch.
No big deal though he still barely said anything to me as we walked across a
terribly muddy area trying to navigate through only stepping on dry spots. While
I was looking down at my feet and where to take my next step Ben took a huge
step back loosing his balance pulling the couch forward and away from me. I
tried to hold on, which was a horrible idea as I fell, belly first into a soupy
mess of mud grass at water.
I tried to play it off, and stand back up as quickly as possible but it was
utterly useless because my entire front side was a complete mess and everyone
around Ben and I were already busting with laughter. That’s when I looked over
at Ben who was sprawled out in his back next to the couch both settled in to the
swampy goo. I mustered up a laugh and peeled my disgusting shirt off before
walking over and helping Ben to his feet.
Together we carried the couch over to where the other 3 were already then we
decided to walk back to the house to clean ourselves off and get a change of
clothes. As we began walking Ben tried to fill the time with small talk, but I
was too upset with the situation to say much. It was a combination of being
dirty and the past few weeks that had me fed up with Ben. After a while he
noticed that I was reluctant to talk so he laid back at we walked in silence.
He peeled off his own shirt saying it was cold and comfortable as the wind
started to blow. And I could tell we both that it was a bad idea to be so
exposed while wet. The sun started to dry and flake the caked on dirt and I
watched it as it started to peel off his chest and back. “Hey, man I’m sorry
about earlier, it was kinda my fault.” He said. He was looking directly into my
eyes and I felt reassured and safe all over again then I said “No, its okay man
I… I wasn’t looking at where you were going.” He laughed and we both felt a
little better.
After about 15 minutes or so of walking we found ourselves back in our
fraternity house. “Ty are you going to take a shower?” Ben asked. “Well I don’t
really see how I could get away with not showering; no one likes the smelly
kid.” I said. Ben laughing said “I guess your right, I should probably get the
dirt out of my hair anyway it doesn’t make the best hair gel.” He ran his hands
through his hair and I say flakes of dried up mud fall onto his brawny shoulders
and chest. “I guess I see you in there then” with that I then turned and made my
way to the shower room.
It was silly but I really felt like Ben and I had turned the corner now and
we had a chance of retaining our past relationship. I had butterflies in my
stomach just thinking about it and it didn’t help the fact that he was going to
be completely naked with less than a foot of space between us in a few seconds.
I started to feel the blood rushing through me fast and faster and I turned on
the shower jet standing underneath it as the cool water rain down on me.
“Ummphh” I let out a muffled moan as the cold water washed over me and felt
my urges set aside so I turned the water temperature up to a nice lukewarm. I
heard the door swing open creaking on its hinges as Ben walked in whistling a
generic tone through his lips. He turned the corner entering the long line
showers and yelled out “Gamma Beta Sig!” I laughed out loud and kicked up some
water from the floor onto him.
“Hurry up man, we gotta get back to the fun and games” I told him sticking my
head under the water not wanting to let my eyes wander and let Ben know how much
I still wanted him. If he didn’t want me I didn’t want him. He walked down the
line of shower heads and I heard the water jet out as he turned on each one
until I heard the one next to me shoot on. I was still holding my head under the
water with my eyes closed tight when I felt Ben press against my back. He moved
against me until I was pushed tight against the shower room wall. “Yeah, or we
could hurry up so we could make our own fun and games.”
I still didn’t open my eyes; it was almost like I couldn’t. Ben…he was
playing with me now and even if he wasn’t I was too confused, upset, excited to
let my emotion sit any longer. “Oh fuck you, Ben, get real.” I said. When I
finally opened my eyes again Ben was washing his own hair out under the shower
jet and I watched as the suds ran down his arms and underneath his hairy armpits
chest and nipples. And I just thought holy fuck as my engines were already
revving up like old times.
He laughed briefly and “Your right man, what was I thinking?” And he kept on
with his washing routine. He squeezed out a handful of liquid soap and rubbed it
down into his pubes and around his bulging tight round ass. I turned my shower
temperature down again hoping to settle myself down again and it might have
worked had Ben not taken his lubricated hand and slip his middle finger deep
into his hole.
“Maybe I was thinking about how tight your body had gotten over the summer.
Maybe that’s what I was thinking about Tyler.” I couldn’t see his face because
he was turned away from me giving me a full show and his voice echoed through
the room. “Yeah, that and how much fun we had over the summer and how much I
missed having you for real.” By now he had his middle finger as well as his
index deep inside himself. And I was holding my package tightly with both my
hand trying to hide how much I was enjoying this voyeurism.
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