Posted by VW Good so far, keep going.
Posted by me i'm not sure if i like it, you would have to write nex part soon and i'll tell ya.
Posted by Jon I liked it alot, Im very into alot of emotion and some sex too get it started. You should continue on. Keep the whole "hanging on edge" concept, makes me want to know who was talking, I'm leaving an open mind to it, but deep down I bat everyone who reads it knows its gona b that one guy lmfao. AND I JUST READ THE STORY... o its TYLER!
Posted by ben keep going
Posted by Kat So far so good, good beginning and excellent follow up, the makings of a good story. No doubt the story line will begin to come through in the sense that is this a story about Ethan's activities, the school or Ethan and Tyler. I guess that by the ending of this story, it's Tyler that has just walked in and things develop from there. Look forward to you next installment!
Posted by martha I like it keep it up.
Posted by kcm WOW!!!! This is a way cool story. Pretty intense. OK now you really have my attention. I am ready for more. This was really amazing.
Posted by brad I thought it was great....I would have liked to the bus scene with shawn to have been detailed a little better, but other than that I was pleased. I especially liked when ethan beat the crap out of tyler. I hope to see a little more "action" in the third installment.
Posted by Charles nice story, like it alot
Posted by Jake Very nice story, I agree with brad on the bus scene, but other than that, you have quite a talent to write. Good job man!
Posted by Paolo Marco liked this one too... nice story arc going... but i think it would be better if we see the next part soon. =)
Posted by Nick holy crap, for a beginner you got some seriouse tallent. admittedly you could but a little more jiuce in the sex scenes, but then again, you have more plot in this than most of the stories on this site. truely excellent. yea you jumped bits of time but when you think about it in the big picture, a few months really isnt that much. keep it up and good job dude. cya round.
Posted by Scott Thanks for the reviews guys, AND THE ADVICE! :-D!
Posted by Jordan it was great please...keep writing
Posted by shawn hey i thouhgt it was asom so keep it up bud!!
Posted by hector this story is great and u should write the next part to it
Posted by Mikey Scott, Great story. Yes, a bit fast, but you seemed to have gotten to the juiciest parts fast and that can be beneficial, too. Don't forget, its OK now that you have an audience to take control. Its your story, so control it to your pace. You've reeled in a good following and you're on your way. Think it all through and don't be afraid to edit like a mad man. When telling FitF, all 19 parts, I've gone back numerous times, til I'm ready to scream, looked it all over and saw I could be more detailed here, less detailed there and so on. Best advice: ALWAYS put yourself in the moment! Keep up the good work, Shirley the Loon-ROFL! ;)
Posted by Matt Enjoyed the Story Would love to see a part where Tyler and Ethan confront one another again Great story sometimes a little too fast moving but was very well Written
Posted by Screaminghawk Santanas no I want more////////??????
Posted by Madeline I think it was pretty good. Better than the first one. I like your jumping technique. Some of these stories are just sex and boring crap your's are really good. Keep em coming.
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Posted by willy yes love it i NEED to know who the voice wuz 10.00 dollars says its the kid on bail or something lol well i hope to read another one ;)
