I submit the following autobiography and fictional story as a means to reach a larger audience of men who are looking for a discrete affair with the potential to develop into a shameless and open acceptance of homosexuality. I want a boyfriend who will someday take pleasure in demonstrating public displays of affection with me. I am looking for a man who will someday pledge his love to me through the institution of “gay marriage”. 

I am blind and have been all of my life. This makes it difficult at best to get out into the dating scene. I have posted ads on gay match-making sites but have had no luck. I know a lot of men such as myself come here to read erotic stories and perhaps one such reader will live in the Texoma area and will want me for his own or perhaps I will find a local homosexual man who will let me ride with him to a gay bar or a gay party so that I can meet other gay men. If you are interested in developing a real relationship with a gay man starving to be loved, or if you are willing to pick me up and let me travel with you to a gay function some time, then please email me. 

Before I begin the fictional part of this writing, let me tell you a little more about myself and my coming to terms with the fact that I am a feminine gay man. I am ready and willing to crawl out of the closet and stand upright to meet the man of my dreams. I will need a little coaching but I am ready and I am committed to seeing a prediction through. I predict that I will be madly in love with a gay man by this time next year. Help me make that happen?

Most of my life I have known I am gay. From the first moment that I discovered my sister’s panty drawer and stole a pair so that I could wear them to fulfill my feminine side I dreamed of wearing them for a boyfriend. I knew when I found a box of tampons and attached one to my bottom, one end of the tip stuck against my balls and pubic hair and the other tightly wedgied up my ass, that I wanted to experience intimacy with a man and share his bed and life as his girlfriend. I remember getting a bath robe for my birthday and loving to wear it and pretending it was a dress with frilly lace around the collar and cut just below the panty-line. I would imagine that it was a lacey night-gown. I would masturbate and pretend that I was in a 69 with a man or that we were grinding our hips together, exploring mouths with swollen tongues, our lips so tightly locked together that it would be hard to tell where my mouth ended and his started. I had a few fleeting sexual experiences with a male cousin but he was interested only for experimentation purposes and the usual sexual contact shared between curious teenage boys. However, I wanted to suck him dry and feel him cum inside me. We would share a bunk bed on cold nights and it would start when one of us would move our body closer to the other and touch legs. I would put my leg over his and then we would roll together and kiss for a while. I would take his underwear off and he would remove mine. We would wrap our arms and legs around one another, usually I was on bottom with my legs tightly wrapped around his back. I would start to run my tongue down his body but he would make me stop. He would let me take his soft cock in my mouth but just when he started getting hard, he would make me stop. We would jack each other off until we got hard and then we would rub our cocks together and I would wrap my legs around him and lie on bottom grinding my hips up against his with my arms locked around him. He would stop before we came and then he would be embarrassed and that would be the end of the night’s pleasure. We did this a few times over a period of about four years. We would take showers together and grind our cocks together and kiss. Sometimes I would go down on my knees in the shower and take him in my mouth and lick his balls but most of the time we just held each other tightly and kissed. I remember being stranded at a gas station one day with my family. While waiting for a relative to come and help us, my cousin and I went to the bathroom to piss. I knelt in front of him right before he pissed and took him in my mouth. Before he could stop a little bit of delicious urine squirted through my hungry lips and down my throat. From that point forward I have fantasized that I celebrate every month anniversary of my relationship with a man by drinking his piss first thing in the morning. I want him to drink a lot of liquids the night before so that I can gulp down a bladder full. I don’t think that this will be unhealthy if I only do it once a month. I hope that doesn’t sound too sick because I really want to drink my baby’s urine and then suck him hard and swallow his cum.

On the last night of my brief but pleasurable homosexual experience I wore a pair of really tight panties all day. When my cousin and I climbed into bed together he teased me about the panties asking me if I wanted to be fucked like a girl. I told him that I did and we started necking. I’d never necked before and I started sucking his neck hungrily and sucking on his bottom lip, his tongue, his upper lip, and I would surround his entire mouth with my lips, moaning with pleasure. We moved so that we could suck each other and he had to force my mouth from his sweet cock because I didn’t want to stop this time. I tried to stick my tongue in his ass and he said, “I’m not gay, we shouldn’t do this anymore.” Maybe he wasn’t, but I knew then that I was, but I fought it for years and I am still fighting it subconsciously. That’s why I need one of you story readers to make me your girl and I’ll love you in ways that you can only imagine.

For several years after my experiences with my cousin, I refused to acknowledge my homosexual tendencies. Then one day I was taking a bath and I decided that I wanted to see what it would feel like to stick something in my ass. I had a skinny bar of soap and stood in the tub and forced the bar inside me. I gasped with pleasure and I felt my cock spasm. After finding this new pleasure I would lubricate my ass with hair conditioner and use a rubber ducky antenna as a dong. It felt so good but I lost the antenna and now I use a marker which is roughly the size of a large penis. I can’t wait though to feel the real thing. For a while I would put chocolate covered cherries inside my ass and let them melt. I would eat them pretending that I was eating them out of the ass of my boyfriend. Another fantasy was born. I want to feel my boyfriend’s ass with Hershey’s kisses and let them melt and then I want to spend time slowly eating every speck of chocolate from his hole. I want my boyfriend to sit on my face a lot and I want to suck hickies inside his sweetness.

I want to kiss for hours and swap saliva. I want to have him chew up food and then put it into my mouth as we kiss. I want to buy a body stocking big enough that we can both fit inside and we can use it to hold us together as we sleep. I want to learn about all the other ways that gay men can make love together. I want to take baths and showers together and I want to pretend that the more he cums inside me, the better my chances of becoming pregnant; in other words, I want to be fucked until I am raw, swollen tightly around his cock and satisfyingly sore inside. I don’t want to hold anything back. One day I hope to be walking down the aisle of a church wearing a wedding dress, finally committing my soul and heart to living the life of a gay man’s bride.

Now begins the fictional part of my story. If you would like to live out the fantasies discussed above or those discussed below, then contact me at the email address given at the beginning of this narrative. I hope you enjoy the tale. This could be you.

I thought four o’clock would never come but finally it is here and I am growing more anxious, scared and excited by the minute. I’m finally going to have the chance to go to a gay bar and meet a man. 

But first, I need to get ready for my potential boyfriend.

I pick up my night bag and walk slowly to the bathroom in the office where I work. I lock the door and sit on the toilet and think for a few minutes.

“This is the point of no return,” I tell myself as I kick off my shoes.

“Do I really want to do this?” I ask myself. “I’m going to a gay bar and I’m probably going to meet a man that is interested in me and . . . well, if he wants to take me home, I’ll go with him and I’ll forever commit to my sexuality as a gay man.”

I take a deep breath and then I remove my socks, shirt, pants and underwear. I reach into the night bag and pull out a bottle of women’s perfume and I spray my ass and my balls and cock. Then I reach back into the bag and remove the five inch butt plug and a tube of KY lubricant. I squeeze some lubricant into my ass, spray the butt plug with perfume and then shove the fake penis in deep. It burns a little and I squirm and tighten my ass muscles around the plug. I moan with ecstasy as I feel it tickle my Prostate. I can’t wait for the real thing and to feel my baby explode inside me. The thought makes me tighten my ass muscles even more and I gasp again at the pleasure. “I’m going to have to jack off before I get fully dressed,” I say to myself. I remove a towel from the bag at my feet and put the seat of the toilet down and spread the towel on top, I don’t want to leave butt prints on the seat. I sit with my thighs spread to put as much pressure on my ass and the plug as possible. It feels so good. I begin to play with my cock until it gets hard and then I masturbate until I cum. I stand up and use the towel to clean myself. Then I wet one end of the towel in the sink and thoroughly wash and dry my cock and ass, leaving the plug inside. I spray my privates down again with the perfume and then I put the rose scented cologne back in the bag with the towel. Next I reach into the night bag and pull out the small cardboard box that contains the chocolate eatable panties, and with absolute pleasure I slip them on and begin to grow hard as I think about my boyfriend eating them off of me. I pull out the egg shaped package that contains the nylon panty-hose and pull them tightly up my legs until the top of the stockings are flush against the Y of my crotch. Next, I put on the very tight lacey panties that I have bought for this very night. I like the feel of them as I run my hands down my hips and caress my crotch, much in the same way I hope that my boyfriend will caress me as we kiss and neck. Then I put on the pink dress that is cut off about five inches above my knee. It has spaghetti straps and a v-cut front. I feel really sexy and hope with all my heart that my potential life mate will like it as well.

“Now to cover it all up,” I say with sadness. I put my pants and shirt back on and slip my feet back into my shoes. The dress is covered up but I would imagine that something probably looks weird. I don’t know and I don’t have a confidant that I can trust to tell me. 

I go back to my desk and discover that only thirty minutes are left before I will be picked up by Kim, a male friend that I met online. “I’m really! Going to do it this time,” I gush with happiness and a rare feeling of confidence and pride fills my loins and heart. “If only I can sustain it and if only I don’t chicken out,” I say. “I can’t chicken out. I won’t chicken out.”

The telephone rings its double-beep sound which tells me that reception is calling me.

“Yes,” I say upon picking up the receiver.

“A guy named Kim is on line three.”

I thank the receptionist and punch the line three button.

“This is Lezlie,” I say.

“I’m running a little early and wondered if you are ready for me to pick you up?”

“Sure,” I said. “I’m ready right now so whenever you get here will be fine.”

“I’m pulling up to the building right now.”

I say goodbye to him and pick up my night bag and walk slowly towards the door. As I reach it, the door opens from the outside.

“Do you want to take my arm,” Kim asks.

I say yes and take his right arm and walk with him to the passenger’s side of the car. I open the door and get in and fasten my seat belt. Within two minutes we are headed for Denison and I am well beyond the point of no return, and, I am happy.

To be Continued....