Posted by Kris Ok, this story is not my best work, it is just something I scribbled down the other night to add to this site. If everyone likes it I will add some good stuff that is 10 times better. Please tell me what you think. Part 2 coming soon...
Posted by mark it was ok and the plot is good but if there was more background and more description then maybe it would have been better. just a bit too short but hopefully the next one will be longer
Posted by Kris Thanks for your input Mark. Yes, I agree it was lacking details, but I was very tired when I wrote it at 5:30am. The next one is alonst finished, and is already filling 3 microstoft word pages on size 10 font, so you can expect a little longer one in the future. The end of the story was also supposed to leave you wanting more, but I dn't believe I portrayed that well. It doesn't allow as much suspence as I had hoped. I can assure you that what this story lacks, will be made up for in the sequel. Hope this had brightened your spirits. Keep those comments coming!
Posted by Carlton W. Good Story!! Short & Sweet