I was totally broken at his leaving me. Mir had promised to write to me, email me and call me.. but then for a while may be a year he did call and write to me .. then the frequency dwindled and then stopped completely.. I was in my new job and had to travel a lot, meeting new people, new companies to assess.. to find new investment possiblilities etc.. Life was on a high professionaly but probably that was because I had no other distractions. I would avoid anyone who would want to come near me.. or someone who would want to form a relationship with me.. I would immerse myself in work. This was my way of shielding from the hurt that was caused when Mir who so abruptly came into my life and left so abruptly. In the process turned my life into an emotional void.

I was still smarting from his departure even two years later, but was just getting back to normal emotionaly, had started attending social gatherings which I had been avoiding all this while. I tried to call Mir on the numbers that he called from but got a dead line. emailed him a couple of times but no response.. I was worried, angry, pissed all at the same time but I missed him like hell and it was hurting even after so long. I longed to be with him, his laugh, his puppy dog look which would melt my heart, his dont care attitude and his public display of affection. I missed his warmth, his tight hug, his lips, his eyes, the smell of his breath.. I missed our hearts beating together after a solid bout of sex.. I just missed that special someone who I could own as mine.

I was in a London for an assignment and was posted there for a couple of months.. It was December and quiet cold.. Snowed a couple of nights. I was all alone in this grey city and this city could push you to great depression just by its weather. Gloomy and dull.. I wanted to feel some warmth, see a lot of smiles and hence decided to visit a nearby Mall. It was where the local kids would hang out and seeing them laughing and pulling pranks on each other was enough to pull me out of my rather dull mood. This is where I saw a sight which stunned me. I saw him at a mall in a city so far from where we grew up and after so long..I looked again to confirm that it was him.. and yes it was him ..MIR was there about a 100 feet from me and looked just the same.. maybe a couple of pounds heavier and looked a bit grown up, but his eyes still had the same puppy dog look which would melt anyone's heart..He had not seen me yet and was looking out for someone, I was about to yell his name out when all of a sudden she just appeared out of nowhere and gave him a tight hug. That is Fal the girl from college, she used to be in the same class as Mir and was very fond of him. He had always told me that she was no one to him and that it was just boys spreading rumours.

He lifted her of her feet and kissed her. I could see that she was in love but he was just reciprocating because that was how it was supposed to be. I could see that he was stiff and not emotionally attached to her but.. Then he saw me.. His eyes immediately widened and the look of his face changed, he smiled, a real smile and let go of Fal. He asked her to wait and walked up to me, extended his arm and shook my outstreched hand. then he gave me a light hug and introduced me to Fal. She knew me and gave me a warm hug. I was so stunned at seeing him when I had lost all hopes of meeting him that I just could not speak anything. My personality had changed in the two years and I was now more mellowed down and was very business like and soft when I spoke. I wanted to kiss him and hug him hard but could not as I knew something was on between him and Fal.

He said " hey we had planned for dinner and now it is going to be more fun, you me and Fal". I just wanted to get out of there and also stay with him all at the same time.. I just stayed back. We sat down for dinner at a classy diner and then I asked him " you been lost, no phone, no email no communication?" He just nodded his and said "lets eat first and then talk, we have the whole night to ourselves. We shall catch up, its a weekend and you must have an off tomorrow, anyways even if you are working then you just have to call in sick" and winked at me. I was just waiting to catch up with him alone and hence dinner passed with just a bit of chit chat, he also did not bring up his life in the last two years and I just spoke about my work. Fal was all the while speaking about college and how they met and how they used to meet every alternate day during the holidays and how Mir had left for Iraq and then his dad had come to London after a year and then I realised that Mir's father and Fal's father were business partners.

Dinner got over and we left the diner and Mir said " lets leave Fal home and then we can go to your hotel and chat the night away, dad anyways knows that I am not coming home, I was supposed to be staying up at Fal's place". I got into the car and we dropped Fal home and I came ahead and sat on the front seat. She kissed him goodnight and left. Mir turned the car around and drove a couple of blocks ahead and stopped the car, turned, looked at me and took my face in his hands and bent his head forward to kiss me but I just pushed back and did not allow him to kiss me after what he had made me go through. I had tears in my eyes and so much of pain that he kept looking at me and said " let me explain" I just looked at him and my eyes said it all.. is there anything to explain?? He read that and said " I know you are hurt and I hurt you but I really love you, I stopped writing or calling because the hurt was growing so much that I could not handle it" " I miss you all the time and I just want this hurt inside to stop" " Am I wrong in trying to live a life, look ahead and not back" I did not have an answer but heart of heart knew that he had always kept a back up plan. He had always made sure that he would have someone to fall back on. He did love me but he also shared and emotional attachment with Fal even when we were together.

He did have guests at his place during the holiday and they were Fal and her family. He had conviniently left that part out. He had been going around with her even then because their fathers had decided that they would get married and he did not have the balls to tell his parents that he was gay.He did not have the balls to tell me that he was going to marry Fal. He wanted the best of both worlds... I was beginning to understand a lot of what had happened then and also now.. He was still waiting for an answer and I just said "Where did I go wrong?, I loved you with all my heart and was ready to share my life with you, go against the world" " you do not have the balls to admit to the world your real self and that you are gay" why should I get screwed because you are a coward"? Why why why??? He just looked in my eyes and saw the hurt, there was no anger now, just plain hurt and lots of it.. He said, " sorry love, some of us are not as brave and strong as you" and just pulled me to him and gave me a rough kiss, Pressed his lips hard on mine and let his tongue into my mouth and just kissed me for a long time. It was one of those I am so sorry kisses..and when we broke away, I saw tears in his eyes. " I know I hurt you so much, and I know that I cannot give you what you want, I am strong but cannot go against my parents", I could not argue on that and just turned away and wept uncontrollably.

We reached my hotel and I informed the manager that I had a guest for the night and that we would need a bottle of chanpagne sent up to the room. We then reached the room, by then I was also feeling ok and all the pent up emotions, the hurt and the agony which I faced forgotten or rather pushed back deep into the back of the mind by the fact that I was feeling alive again.. just to be with Mir again.. the love of my life, just to be spending the night with him even if it was just one night and only night that I would be spending.. did not matter, just to be with him again was worth all the pain..

We entered the room and shut the door and then there was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds and he just grabbed me and started to kiss me all over my face. we were in a tight embrace and our tongues dancing salsa and our hard cocks doing their own ballet..rubbing against each other, pressing hard on each others cocks.. it was as if the two of us were about to have sex for the first time..We dont know how we undressed or when we were on the bed but believe me, if we were not carefull or if we did not subdue our passions then we would set the whole place on fire, so much of pent up emotions all coming to the party.. Then slowly sanity set in and we slowed down, he then kissed me and our tongues lapped on each other for a while, he then moved down and kissed my chest which were more muscled in the last few years due to angry workouts. He moved slowly down licking me with his long and rather sharp tongue..Kissing my body on the way and licking my abdomen and then moved down to my shaft. He looked up and said" I missed my ram rod" and kissed the mushroom head of my cock gently and the licked the precum off the head. My dick was throbbing and was at full erection and the veins were pumping more and more blood into it.. he then slowly started to suck my cock, gingerely at first and then he was at full on throttle, bobbing up and down on my cock. I was beyond any feelings and was in a world of my own, just enjoying the moment and moaning with wild pleasure. He then got down to licking my balls and then sucking on them. He was good at it and was taking my pleasure to greater heights. He then went down and started licking my ass hole, at first just the rim and then his long tongue started to get way deep into my ass hole. he was making slurping sounds and that excited me further. He was fucking me with his tongue and I was enjoying it. He then came back up and lay on top of me and our cocks met and said hi and started pressing on each other.I then took his face in mine and looked into his eyes and kissed him. Then I just wispered in his ears " I wanna Fuck you", and rolled him under me and took his legs on my shoulder and without warning just rammed my hard cock into his glory hole. It pained him and he yelped but then waited for me to push it in further, this was his way of saying sorry. I realised that in the heat of the moment I had forgotten to lube him or my dick and immediately removed my cock and pulled out a tube of lube from the desk and applied it gently on his now bleeding asshole. I then applied some to my cock and then asked him, "your ass is bit sore, its bleeding a bit, should we wait till the morning" he said " its ok, your heart bled a lot, now its time for me to bleed." I gently pushed my cock into his ass hole, and he adjusted to my cock and then in a couple of minutes it was all inside his ass. I got into a rythem and fucked him for just under 5 minutes and came hard. I banged my cock deep into him and came.. jets and jets of cum hit his asshole and filled him. while I was about to remove my cock from his asshole he pushed his ass all the way again taking my cock inside him and then he came, screaming my name and telling me that he loved me.. jets of jism hit his face and his chest..after he was finished I just licked his chest clean of the cum and collapsed next to him.

The doorbell rang after a minute and he just got up naked and opened the door and the steward came in and left the Champagne and the bucket of ice, Mir tipped him a tenner and he bid us good night and left. Mir turned around and said " cute guy eh! " and just burst out laughing, we both laughed so hard that all the hurt was forgotten.

We then spent the night chatting and cuddling up to each other and he said " I love you but can't be with you, you will find someone whom you will may be fall in love with, but I am going to marry someone who I will never love" that is my punishment and that is the price I pay for not being able to stand up for myself. I said " No ma love that is the way of nature, that is destiny, that is the price we have to pay to make those who brought us into this world happy". "I now understand why you did not write or call, I now know why you did not tell me about Fal. Now I know my love that I am your love and you love me so much that you made love to me even though you are getting married". He said " I was married when I left for Iraq" " My soul married yours my love and it will always be that way" saying this he just buried his head in my chest and wept, wept uncontollable and like a child. I just let him cry.. Tears rolled down from my eyes too...

That night we were awake and did not sleep a wink. We both knew that this was probably the last night together. We did not want to miss a single touch, word, or expression on each others face.. He left in the morning after a good round of sex where for the first time he fucked me he left.. I told him that I would be there for his wedding which he said was a week from now...I had made peace with my demons.. hope he did too.. My love that night was Body & Soul, Pure & Simple.