Posted by philip In some places you should have used his instead of he. At the beginning of the story you should have put sentences from the second paragraph into the first paragraph. I liked the story but it seems like a rough draft. idk i would ask a friend to read it and change the words where they need to be changed. in one place for example of a slip up,
"The next day came and Terrell did the same thing, came knocking on my window,"
the next day Terrel came and began knocking on my window,...
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'I want you, Tom. You're old enough now. I've wanted you since you joined the school.' I felt myself getting stiffer, I couldn't help it. His fingers were stroking my balls sack through my tight boxers. And I liked it. 'You have a nice thick cock, Tom. Do you want to feel mine?' He took my hand, and pushed it down his boxers. I gasped...