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: Erotic_Fiction : My 18th Birthday - total 41 reviews. 
Reviews 41 :
- read story, Author : Gary Johnson. PS: Reviews num is regularly updated.
My 18th Birthday reviews
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Posted by Max
hi dear that a great story i wanna gear more. plz el what happen plz........i can't wait............
Posted by larry
i would love to see want happens next
Posted by Lenny
THAT WAS VERY HOT AND i WANT TO HERE MORE, YOU REALLY HAD ME GOING AND WANT TO JOIN THE TWO OF YHOU FOR SOME GOOD OH FUCKING, YOU AND YOUR FRIEND COLLIN SOUND VERY SEXY, WOW
THANKS LENNY
Posted by Jordan
write more please....more, more, more
Posted by Brad Smith
Hold off on the praise for a minute...
Concept was fine. (But then how could you go wrong with a football jock?)
First, I found it hard to believe that the conversation in the truck would ever take place under any circumstances. Secondly, a football star that serves as the DD? Ummm, not the high school I went too...
Next, the sex was clearly rushed.
Lastly, after forcing myself to believe the party and truck convo., then I have to believe the jock has the perfect 10-incher?
I don't mean to sounds harsh and I wouldn't mind a sequel. However, there are many writers on this site that spend large amounts of time writing their stories. And many of them don't get four great reviews.
Posted by Ken
Interesting story but it could use more detail and yes I want to find out what happened.
Posted by rd
hey,
what happened when your parents found you? tell the rest.
Posted by jesse
ohhh i definately want to read another story!!!!!!
Posted by ben
yeah i want to see what happens
Posted by Lee1746
Hay thay was good but what happind with his parints
did he get away with it or did thay kick him out
or did thay eceipt hen as being gay i knoe that i would if i found my son with an other guy.
Posted by Mikey
I agree w/Brad (Smith) on all accounts. There was potential for this story, but it was way too rushed and the dialogue sounded more jr high than high school. You need to edit, proof read, you need to take your time and live in the moment and speak from your heart. There're many authors here that tell amazing stories. Some are still cutting their teeth, while others are seasoned pros. If you're going to continue, slow down. I can't emphasize that enough to all new writers. That and proof read and live the moment. You'd be amazed how much of a turn on it can be for you the author to live, or in some cases re-live a moment. You have potential, hone your skills. :)
Posted by shawn
come on do the sequel i must no what they say
Posted by bs
write the sequal that was good but I would like to know what happened with your parents and if things continued or was it a one time thing
Posted by Jake Meredin
I agree 100%. The story has potential, but its too fictional. There wasnt enough detail at all, and you rushed through it like football. Slow it down, explain how you met him, how you know him, how long you've been friends for.. Ect. The smallest details are the most important, from the clothing, the smell, the room, anything.
Posted by mark
I gotta say I totally agree that it was sooooo rushed. There was no description with anything written. The actual plot is good but it's got to be more realistic.
This 10 incher thing? I gotta know how a guy takes that kind of meat all in one go.....and be a virgin before it......and without lube!!!!
it says you sucked his dick for a little while longer, but there was no bit where it was sucked before that.
Read what you write first before posting it.
Posted by seymour cox
I have to say that I didn't read the story. I just came to see exactly what commanded 15 and now 16 reviews. So, in all fairness, I will now go and read the story and respond, with a yea or a ney
Seymour Cox
Posted by seymour cox
NEY to the 10th power + 1
Posted by Jake
Dude you can't just leave it like that.... you have to let me and everyone know what happened next. DId your folks just die?? did you proclaim your love for one another and live happily ever after with collin... suckin and fuckin for the rest of your youthful years.. Do tell.. love, come on share with us all... Thanx baby , so far it was a very hot story. I can't wait to hear the rest..
Posted by dave
hi ur too sweet
Posted by dave
hi ur too sweet
Posted by jhano
a good story
Posted by MIke
hot! let me hear more!
Posted by jake young
hi im 13 i love u wanna fuck
Posted by wayne
You got to continue this, one great story, let me know when its done .
Wayne
Posted by Rob
ok what happened that was hot as hell I was totaly boned.
Posted by Jeb
I thought this story was extremely racist and homophobic. It was clearly making fun of retarted people
Posted by refitchef
ahh excellent would luv to read more
Posted by Jim
Sweet story, I spewed alot. I would love to read more from you!
Posted by glenn
i want to hear what happened after ur parents caught ya
Posted by terry murphy
it is a great story and i do hopethat you did write a sequel as i would be interested in finding out how your parents reacted when they found you in bed with you friend collin. hope they weren't too hard on you as it was your first time.
Posted by Todd
Great story man, would love to hear more of it!
Posted by Eric
so that was a great story send me the sequel
Posted by eric
that was amazing
Posted by Garrett
whats the rest of the story
im_a_triplet@yahoo.com
Posted by Jon
That was an awesome story bro. It really turned me on and I can attest to the same situation. U need to write a sequel.
Posted by jonathan
i would like to know more what happed after your mom and dad were there
Posted by Sime
I love this story complete it please
Posted by Alex Johnson
I wanna hear the rest of the story.... PLEASE TELL ME......... YOUR STORY IS SOOOOO FUCKING SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by george
wow that was intense tell me more
Posted by Inggit
so what ur parents did to u ? reply my email please
Posted by Boy Feet Lover ;)
Seriously? Good story, but super fast. Slow down...put in more details. The details you did put in were good, but a little bit over dramatic. Also the conversation with you and Collin in the car.... What the hell? You expect me to believe, that it just happened? Good story, but needs some work... ;)
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