Simple and Ice Cold Need : Chapters 6 and 7

100% fiction!

*** Chapter 6

When we woke up in the morning I couldn’t remember why I felt sad. The apartment was freezing and all I wore was a T-shirt that had been on the chair by the desk when I woke up. I stretched silently and smiled at Bart who still slept soundly next to me. I walked across the cold white tile in the kitchen to the fridge.

Why was I crying? I thought. I knew I had been. My face felt weird like I had dried tears on my face. I swear to God, I stood there for 5 minutes retracing my steps from the night before. I remembered someone called about somet-
I fell against the island in tears. I was mad at myself for forgetting all about it. I couldn’t believe it. I had loved my dad, a very, very long time ago. He was my idol. Since I was boy I was blind to the fact that he hit my mum and that he screamed all the time, drunk. I tried to stop crying

Why should I care?

But I couldn’t. I felt horrible. I cried forever against the island in Bart’s kitchen, half naked on the freezing tile. I didn’t even look up when he came into the kitchen and tried to soothe me. He hugged me close and whispered to me. It worked. Before long I was sitting on his lap sucking on his neck. I loved it. I don’t know why most people give hickeys but I did it because I like the taste of Bart’s skin and leaving my mark on him.

“Robby? Why are you so upset?”
“What a stupid question, Bart.” I scolded. He gently stroked my hair back behind my ear.
“I’m sorry. You know I love you right? I’m always gonna be here for you.”
“Yeah.”
“David’s going to be doing the plans for the funeral plans.”
“How do you know?” I asked.
“When he called last night he told me that.”
“Oh.”
“Robin, are you going to be okay?” he asked me calmly.

“I guess. I don’t know. I feel kind of…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I knew what I felt. I ran to the bathroom barely holding it in and leaned over the toilet. The sick spoiled taste of popcorn and liquids poured out of me. My eyes watered and my throat burned. I stayed hunched over for about a minute before I flushed and went into the bedroom. I dug through the dresser for underwear and a pair of jeans. When I left the bedroom I found Bart in the kitchen crying.

“Bartholomew! Why are you crying?” I asked gently, awkwardly wrapping my arms around his warm, full body.
“I-I don’t want to hurt you. I love you so much. I know what I said about not meaning to love you, but I can’t stop.”
“B-Bart? What’s gotten into you?” I asked shocked at his sudden out-of-character manner.

“Last night I was talking about T-Tyler and you got upset because I was talking about looking him up and I want to do it. I just want you to know it wouldn’t mean anything and whether he was still the same or not you’re still my only real love.” He answered gently.
“You’ve got to be kidding! You were actually serious about looking him up? I-I thought that you were just thinking. I can’t believe you.” I said feeling hurt. I slipped my arms from around his smooth tan upper body and stood back waiting for an apology.
“Robby, I love you so much, please don’t do this.” He said looking at me disappointed.

“How could you seriously consider looking for a guy that raped you when you were a kid?”

“He didn’t rape me Robby. Please don’t be complicated. I just want to look for him online and see if he still lives in the area and maybe could talk to him.” Bart begged as though what he was saying wasn’t completely fucked up. I left the apartment without a word slipping on my Nikes on the way out.

Outside the wind whipped and the cold blew. I climbed in Bart’s car knowing he didn’t have to work and stopped. On any other day Bart would’ve beat me if I’d have behaved like that. What had I done to make him suddenly calm? Could it have been the fact that my father was dead or was Bart really just not angry?

I sat on the barstool in the kitchen wishing Robin hadn’t left. Wishing he could just be happy that I loved him and stay. And ignore the fact that Tyler was still on my mind. I went to the bedroom and changed from my shorts to a pair of jeans. I needed to go grocery shopping and had to stop at the bank. Maybe we could have pizza tonight? I could stop at Little Caesars on the way home from the store. My eyes caught contact with the laptop. It sat tauntingly on the desk against the wall. I walked over to it and typed in the password. It couldn’t hurt, right?
Instantly, I was online. I went to a people search engine and typed in Tyler Summerfield. I only got 3 results. I doubted that any of them were him. I could walk away saying at least I tried, and not even turn my life upside down. I clicked the first one. The age was 46. Too old. I clicked the next one. 37 sounded right but he was married. He had a wife, 2 kids and he looked too different. His hair was black and his eyes weren’t brown.

The last one was 40. Tan. Freckled, brown eyed. He had chocolate hair and a shy little smile. I clicked the link to his Facebook and friend requested him.

And waited. I stared for a minute. I refreshed the page. Results would come in time. I closed that internet window. I Logged onto my Facebook account and played Farmville for 20 minutes. Quick results. I clicked on the notifications in the corner which was glowing red.
Tyler Summerfield has accepted your friend request.

The chat window at the bottom glowed.
“Hey! Haven’t seen you in 4eva.”{him}
“Yeah.” I typed back.
“Y did u friend me? Howd u find me. Or remember my name?” he asked.

“I couldn’t forget you. That was an important part of my life. I just searched you. No big. I didn’t think I’d actually find you.” {me}
“O. Wat hav u done w/ urslf?” {him}
“Like a job and shit?” {me}
“Yes.” {him}
“I’m a cashier.” {me}
“Where?” he asked.
“A video store.” {me}
“Wat about a grlfriend or wife?”{him}

“What about them? I have a boyfriend.” I said. For a second I didn’t get much of a response. Then finally he answered.
“O. A serious 1?” {him}
“He’s currently pissed at me because I wanted to look you up.” {me}
“That makes sense. He must nt wana lose u.” {him}
“Aww. That makes me feel so much better [sarcasm].” I typed.
“O. Wel. I no I woldn’t wana lose u. U look good. <3.” {him}

“Thanks. You too. Are you really forty?” {me}
“Yes. Nd ur just saying that to flatter me.” {him}
“Well I could say ‘Wow! Forty’s really old, man!’ but I didn’t so just take the complement.”{me}
“LOL. That’s funny. Cruel. But funny. Mayb we could hang out sumtime.” {him}
“Yeah.”{me}
“Do u still liv in Penn?” {him}

“Yeah. You?” {me}
“yeh. I muved back to were I used to b.” {him}
“Oh. Cool. Yeah so, maybe sometime soon. I have to go out today. Places to be. And I need to get Robin un-mad at me.” {me}
“Robin?” {him}
“My bf.” {me}
“Robin is a grl’s name.” {him}

“Well. Yeah. I guess. But his name’s really Robert. He just goes by Robin.” {me}
“Is this the same kid u used to hang out w/ wen u wer a kid?” {him}
“Yeah.” {me}
“o” {him}
“Yeah.” {me}
“I can’t believe u actually still no him. Tht was a long time ago.” {him}
“Yeah? He’s my best friend so. I think it’s fine.” {me}
“O.” {him}
“Do u thnk it’s my falt ur gay?” Tyler typed. {him}I was kind of shocked at the question. Snapped back into reality by it, I thought about it.
“Yes. Probably. I should go, Tyler.” {me}
“Bye.” {him}

“Quite.” {me}
I logged off. He’d fucked me when I was boy. He was a creep. He was my reason for liking guys. He was the only memory I had from being a kid aside from Robin and those rare accidents in life like when I was 8 and broke my leg. I had brought myself into a world that was worse than my own. And I’d probably like it.

Hey! I’ve been meaning to write one of these end greetings things the last two times I posted but I kept forgetting. So. Hey! Please comment if you like it. I’m uber sorry this took so long. Every time I looked at it I got a really bad headache and I’ve been working on other things too. I know this is only 2 chapters and nothing really happened that was sexy but next time should be better. More chapters (3?) and more action (sex and battle scenes 0Oo!!).

Hugs. Grady…

Ps. I know the tags like him-me are irritating but I didn’t want anyone getting confused…