Todd was fit as fuck. if i looked at him long enough my dick would be like a fucking diamond cutter. clearly he was bent, he made no secret of it. he would strut into college wearing his tight designer jeans and his cool t-shirts that were about two sizes too small for him. it wasnt just that tho, it was the studded dog collar, the leather wristcuffs he must have got from the sex shop in town. yeah, he would roll into class and find himself a seat and i would have to hide my reddening face and look away. the problem you see, just turned 18 and was hiding in the closet. scared shitless of what everyone wud think of me. i was off the council estate, my mates were fuckin loons.

we'd take drugs every weekend, drink cheap booze and cause mayhem on the streets. my mom had enough. cops calling every five minutes. neighbors going berserk at me. so she had told me to fuck off. so here i was, sleeping on the floor of a homophobic mates bedsit. hanging around with a homophobic racist gang of nutters, thieves, and drugdealers. the future wasnt rosy. but the drugs and booze made it a bit more colourfull.

I knew i wasnt going to last long in college. two things kept me there. my love of drawing, and seeing todd. that wasnt going save me though. it was all coming apart. seeing him all the time in class jus reminded me of what a fucking coward i was. the tutors kept reminding me of what a waste of good talent i was. the weed, pills and acid i was consuming all the time was screwing me up big time. it was a boring normal tuesday in college when i finally cracked. i suppose it would have looked cool nutting the tutor if i hadnt of had fucking tears in my eyes. i ran out of that place in complete despair.

I sat on the bridge looking at the swollen fast moving river. the vodka was finished and i had three cigs left. im gonna smoke these an jump right in. i decided. the vodka had pretty much calmed me down but all that anger and pain was still there. i couldnt do it any more. jus jump in an it will all be fuckin over. i shouted to the roaring current of the river. whos gonna fuckin miss my faggot ass any fuckin way. i realised i was crying again. this only made me more angry. so i stood up, i had only smoked one of the three cigs. i leaned forward over the bridge when a hand pulled me back.

the sudden shock made me yell and fall backwards onto the footpath of the bridge my head must have hit one of the struts of the bridge. as i started to black out a voice i knew only too well spoke above me. ill miss you carter you soft twat. todd!! what the flying fuck was he doing here. i managed to stop myself from the indignity of losing conciousnous in front of someone i fancied to the point of obsession. i tried to stand up but the vodka and crack on the head kept me truly fastened to the floor. i cudnt even look at him. everyone thought i was a hardnut, an here i was snivelling like sum little kid who had lost his sweets. i wanted the pavement to swallow me up. it was then out of nowhere words came tumbling out. before id realised what i was thinking i looked up at him an snivelled. i really like you. you know.. i looked back down at the floor in horror at the realisation of my confession. todd knelt down next to me. a soft smile had spread across his face. i know cartylad. i know.

We must have sat there in silence for an age. i offered him one of the cigs and we sat staring at the river smoking. the river almost seemed angry now, as if it was shouting in protest at not getting another victim. how come you are down by the bridge anyhow. i asked. todd looked at me with his brown eyes and studied me for a moment. a hunch i guess...you were pretty upset in college today you know. never seen you like that before. guess it must be fate i got here when i did aye? fate? i thought. is there such thing? i took another drag an said nothing. i wondered what he might be thinking right now. as if he had read my mind he stood up. cmon cartylad you can come back to mine. its fuckin freezing out here. he flicked his cig over the side and helped me to my feet.

I woz leathered. i had not much recollection of the walk to his place. i sort of came to as we struggled through his front door. it was pitch black as he guided me up the stairs of his flat. i was starting to black out again when i felt myself landing on something soft. bed! i mumbled. yes cartylad its a bed. my bed in fact. i could feel my trainers and socks being pulled off as i lay on his bed breathing like fuckin darth vader. it was with a shock, i felt him kneel over me, his knees each side of my thighs. slowly my brain informed me that he was undoing the cord of my tracky pants. as this thought was entering my head i slowly realised he had not jus taken my pants off but my boxershorts as well.

I felt him shuffle further up so he was sitting on my stomach. with that he yanked my hoodie and t-shirt off in one go. my breathing had quickened. my heart felt it was gonna thump its way out of my chest. i had no idea what to say to any of this, so i said nothing. it was then i realised i was starting to get aroused. he slid further back and was now sitting on my dick. shit! hes gonna know now. i thought. i looked up and could see him leaning over the bed backwards to get something. suddenly he leapt back forward. i could hear the jangle of chains as he turned me over on my front. shit todd wotcha doin man. i slurred. i tried to get up but he pushed me hard back on the bed.

I tried to struggle but i was too drunk, i heard the click and cold steel round my wrist. seconds later my wrists were cuffed to his bed. todd, i cried out. wot the fuck!? i felt him lay down on top of me as his lips touched my ear. i was kinda scared but at the same time his breath behind my head just turned me on even more. calm down cartyboy, its for your own good. dont want ya choking on your own vomit or anyfin. he then climbed off me he spread my legs wide and i felt him tie each ankle to the end of his bed. id given up. fuck it, hes seen me crying like a baby about to throw myself of the bridge. id even said i liked him.. i was screwed now.

i started to doze off when i felt him get into bed next to me. he moved close. you still awake cartylad? yeah.. i mumbled drowsily. his arm slipped under my chest and he wriggled underneath me. my dick was rock hard as i felt his soft skinny frame glide over my skin his arms wrapped round me in a gentle hug. listen carty, its ok to be gay. his hands lifted my head so he could look into my eyes. do ya understand softlad theres fuck all wrong with what you are ok?. shit i felt like i was gonna cry again. yeah.. i said my voice breaking, tears welling up in my eyes. he kissed me gently on the lips and held me there for a moment. he then wriggled free and curled around me. we shall talk in the mornin he whispered. now go to sleep. i lay there for about twenty minutes, my dick still fuckin throbbin. my head spinning. id never been tied to a bed before nor to bed with a lad for that matter. my heart jumped as i realised if he hadnt grabbed me when he did id be brown fuckin bread. it was then as i fell asleep that t thought there actually might be something worth living for....