Posted by Fritz Hate to pickey but needs better use of the English language. On the other hand, the writer has spent some time working on the plot and has made a decent story of it so far.
Posted by lulu loved it...cant wait for the next one
Posted by Chris Well, I'm tired...decent story...so I don't know waht Fritz is talking about. I'll look later. This plot is kinda of, dull-thus far. I think that you should spend more time with the story and make it longer. One page isn't enough. Though it does build up curiosity.
Posted by Calum When is part 3 coming onto this page i need to know cos i want to read what happens after he says can i crash here does it continue or does it end right there i liked the first two parts and i also like how he said the film that he was in the one with chevy chase and he should have said home improvement
Posted by Romeo These 2 stories could be 1 and they both stink!