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The night reviews

Review(s) 10 | Read story
Author: Josh volland
2.00 - Rate
Posted by kevin
more detail, longer story, dont rush things.....other than that good story
Posted by angelyn
PLEASE hot rape for part2!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Jaack65
Maybe some sex?
Posted by quincy b evergreen
I agree with Kevin. You're moving too fast. Don't rush yourself. And you need more detail. WAYYYY more detail. And defiantly more variation in your sentences.
Posted by Andrew
Don't have Luam turn Jake; but let him be his mortal lover. Introduce an immortal lover and have a threesone. Jake can take care of them during daylight hours.
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