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I head home after a long day of doing random shit with beau. I walk in and see my parents in the doorway. " what's the matter?" I ask my parents. " we need a serious talk right now" my dad says in a low voice. We head into the living room and sit down on the couch. "whats wrong dad?" I ask. "cam, there is no way to ask this lightly so I'm gunna be very direct, are you gay?" He asks very seriously "ummm, wow, I didn't expect that. Yeah I am, is there something wrong with that?" "no absolutely not. I just wish you would tell us sooner than now." "I'm sorry dad" I said staring at the floor. I didn't know that my older brother was standing in the doorway listening in on our conversation.

I headed up to my room to be ambushed by my brother. He grabs my shirt coller. "brandon I'm not in the fucking mood" I said angrily. "you'll tell Beau your gay but not me?" I was always a little scared of him but for once, I wasn't. "let go of me." I said. "shut up!" He demanded. He picked up his left fist and threw a punch. For once, military training would come in handy. I blocked the punch, grabbed his left arm and twisted it behind his back. I hear three snaps. "Aaaaah! You little bitch!" He screamed in agony. Still holding his arm, I kicked the back of his knee, taking him down instantly.

My parents run up the stairs to find me standing over brandon. "what the hell did you do?" My mother screams. "he ambushed me in the hallway and tried to punch me. So I defended myself." I said. I later find out after brandon gets back from the hospital that I broke his arm in three places. "your gunna regret this!" Brandon said clutching his arm in pain. Later that day, I felt kinda guilty about the whole incident. I went into his room to say that I was sorry. I walked over to his bed, "brandon, I just wanted to say that I'm sor-" he grabbed my throat and squeezed. I couldn't breathe. He got up and threw me into the ground.

He immediately started to choke me. I started to black out. "Brandon... Please" I said trying to conserve the last of my breath. He released me. I gasped for air. I lay there as my dad breaks the door open and rushed over to me. My mother calls 911. "brandon what the fuck did you do to your younger brother???" "nothing!" He answered innocently. The doctors at the hospital told my dad that brandon tried to kill me. I lay there in the hospital bed. My eyes flicker open. Beau wasn't there. I wasnt surprised, this was a family incident and not a school one. I get out of the hospital later on and headed home. Around 21:00 hours or 9pm.

My phone rings, it was beau. "hello?" I answered "hi babe! How are you?" "not so good, my parents find out I am gay, my brother almost kills me, and I feel like my whole life is going to shit." I answered "how are you?" I asked " that's not important. I'm heading over there to see you." " You don't have to" I answered "i am." He insisted. We end our conversation and within ten mins Beau was at my house. "are you ok?" He asks me as he kisses my cheek " yeah." I said. We head to my room to talk. 45 minutes later, my brother barges in holding my military issue M9 barretta sidearm. "holy shit!" Beau screams "brandon, put away the gun.

Think about what your doing." I said as I stare down the barrel of my weapon. "you think I'm gunna stand by and watch my brother ruin his life?" He screams at me. "what are you talking about?" I said. "this is what I'm talking about!" He raises the gun and shoots Beau in the chest, he falls back grabbing his chest, with one quick motion, I grab my 2nd sidearm under my bed and shoot brandon 4 times in the chest. Killing my brother. I had no choice but to open fire on him. I rush to beaus side, my parents run up the stairs to see brandon dead on the floor and me holding beau trying to keep him alive for as long as possible. "cam, am I gunna... die?" Beau says to me struggling to stay conscious.

I knew that the wound was lethal, but I couldn't tell him that. I say nothing. My parents stare at me. Watching me try to keep beau calm. My mother calls 911 again and the police and ambulance crew arrive in seconds. I later find out the next morning that beau died in the hospital. I sit on my bed too upset to cry. Thoughts race through my mind about beau and the good times I had with him. I look at the gun that killed my brother. "why?" I asked myself. My father walks in and sits down next to me. I start to cry uncontrollably. "you did all you could." Dad said in a sorrow filled voice. "i know." I said. "but it wasnt enough."

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Home : Coming Out : The story of me : Part 5