A passion for pain : Part 1

My name is Jason but everybody calls me J. I have known from an early age that being made helpless and then subjected to pain gave me a high. Even before I was sexually aware I used to fantasise about being tied up and tortured. As I became more conscious of how my body functioned, I used to test my pain threshold by deliberately hitting myself and getting as near to hot objects as possible. The hot water cistern in the bathroom was one such object and after I had had a bath I would wrap my arms around the copper tank as it heated up again and see how long I could stay there until the temperature became unbearable. To add to the experience I would press my genitals up against the metal and be aware of my cock growing hard as the pain increased.

I didn't come across real corporal punishment until I went to grammar school at the age of eleven. Each of the teachers there had a leather strap which was used for any misdemeanour. This was usually given on the hand but for serious offences it was on the buttocks. I was generally a good pupil and did not get the strap too often but on the occasions it did happen I found that after the initial sting of the leather on my palm the after effect was very arousing. After about the third or fourth time I had received this punishment I was beginning to enjoy the initial sting as well. There was one occasion where I had been caught drawing obscene pictures in my notebook and one of the teachers took me to his study where I had to drop my pants and bend over while he gave me six hefty whacks with the strap on my bare arse.

The pain was intense and I remember my body arching after the first blow but then relaxing and anticipating with pleasure the remainder of the strokes as they rained down on me in quick succession. Afterwards my arse cheeks felt like they were on fire but I was so turned on I relished the feeling and although it added to the residual pain when I sat down this only added to the internal pleasure that I felt. My classmates knew I had been beaten and my tolerance to the inflicted pain set me in high esteem in their eyes which heightened my pleasure even more. I was also turned on by the livid purple marks on my buttocks that remained for several days.

I never acknowledged that I was gay until I had gone through puberty. My fantasies during and after that time, when I wanked, were always set around other guys and the pain that in my imagination they were inflicting on me. One of my mates turned out to be gay too and when suitable opportunities arose we would find somewhere, away from prying eyes, to strip off in order to explore and play with each other's bodies. The best time for this would be when my parents were out at work and the house was empty so that we could safely go to my bedroom and lie on the bed together totally naked.

During these sessions I desperately wanted him to give me a good spanking. He was a bit dubious at first but after some persuading he agreed and I got across his knee and he gave me a few slaps with his hand. He was too gentle to begin with and I urged him to use more force. After he had done this several times he started to enjoy hurting me and I could feel his cock getting aroused and digging into my body as he continued to hit me. It was not long before he suggested using something more than his hand to beat me with and we started to experiment with rulers and leather belts. One of my belts had metal studs embedded in it and I found that it was this one that I craved the most.

Bit by bit we became more adventurous until my mate had me tied hand and foot to the bed while he delivered the hardest blows possible to my bare flesh with the studded belt. The whole of my lower body felt so stimulated by this treatment that my cock was rock hard throughout and occasionally I would shoot a load as I lay helpless while being thrashed.

We never fucked each other but, after I had come, I would get my lips around his cock and suck him till he came. Even while doing that I wanted to feel pain and he would pull my hair or yank my ears to hold my face close to his groin. Sometimes he squeezed and twisted my nipples as his cock slid in and out of my throat. By the time I left school l knew that I could only be sexually satisfied if a degree of pain was involved and that the amount of pain I desired was increasing as time went by. At this time my mate and I went separate ways and so I had to seek satisfaction from other sources.

I was eighteen and a student at university living away from home and no longer restricted by being at school. I could also legally go into bars. There was one gay bar in the town where I was now living that I wanted to go into. I had walked past it several times and noticed that the clientele entering and leaving it were normally dressed in leather and looked to me like the archetypal S&M aficionados that I had read about and which interested me because of the things they got up to. Despite the fact that I desired and could withstand a lot of pain I was a timid sort of person and it took ages for me to pluck up the courage to go into this bar. Eventually, when I did, the sight that first met my eyes convinced me that I had arrived at the right place. Ranged around the bar were several men of all ages who, by their appearance, looked as if they were capable of fulfilling my painful yearnings. Nearly all of them were really fit, their muscles were evident under under their tight fitting leather clothes but they also oozed menace.

I got to the bar and could almost feel their eyes peering at my skinny body inside my nearly skin tight jeans. I expect that, as I was young compared to the men in there and not dressed in leather, they probably thought I was an invader in their world and that I was only after someone to give my arse a good screwing and nothing else. If that was the case, how wrong they were. I wanted at least one of them to beat my backside until the cheeks were bright red, stinging and hot. Now that I had entered the bar at last my inhibitions disappeared and I got my drink and stood leaning against the bar with my arse provocatively displayed. It was no time before someone came up and stood next to me.

I looked in his direction and saw a bloke of about twenty-five who was wearing a leather waistcoat with nothing underneath and a pair of leather chaps with what looked like black boxers shorts underneath. My eyes took in his physique and I liked what I saw. Strong arms that would be good at pinning me down and thrashing me; firm but not over-large pecs and a well-defined six-pack. Moving my eyes downward I noticed that the leather chaps were being held up by a wide studded belt that set my blood racing as I imagined it raining blows on my bare arse. He also had an impressive bulge at his groin that promised a large piece of man meat that I would have gladly played with as his reward if he was to beat the living daylights out of me.

“Hi,” he said smiling.

“Hi,” I replied smiling back at him. He knew straightaway he had clicked with me. It only remained now to find out if he was interested in giving me what I wanted.

”I've not seen you in here before. Is this your first time?” he asked.

“Yea I moved here as a student a few weeks ago and I thought I would suss out the scene,” I replied trying to sound as if I had done this sort of thing many times before.

“What do you think of this place?” he replied playing along with my charade of being experienced in going to gay bars. It was obvious that he had seen through me and knew that I was far from being a seasoned frequenter of the leather scene.

“I like the look of some of the fellers in here,” I responded and gave him a broad smile that implied that he was included in this remark.

Just then another bloke came up to the bar and spoke to the first guy.

“Are you chatting up some twink while my back is turned?” he asked laughing. “He's always trying to get inside young flesh, “ he continued turning to me.

I looked at him and saw this guy in his mid-twenties all in leather. He too had a thick studded leather belt and on his head was a leather cap.

“I was hoping he would like to give me a good thrashing,” I said before I had realised I had spoken.

They both looked at me wide-eyed.

“Are you on the level,” the first guy asked.

I was conscious of what I had said and replied yes without batting an eyelid.

“I thought you were just some young lad who had come in here hoping for a screw from one of the chaps here. But if you're serious then I'm sure either of us could fulfil your desires.”

I decided to come clean and explained to them what my experiences had been to date and how, when I indulged in sex, I had a craving to mix it with pain as well.

“You've never been fucked?” the second guy asked. I shook my head.

“Well there's an element of pain you haven't explored yet,” he said emphatically. “If you come back with us, we'll beat you as much as you like and introduce you to other painful practices but instead of you sucking us off we'll fuck you long, rough and hard. You'll sure get a lot of pain from that as you're a virgin. The only trouble is that next time you're fucked it won't be as painful and some of your enjoyment will be lost.”

I heard what he was saying and knowing that at some time I would eventually end up being fucked it didn't faze me.

“If I'm being hurt in other ways while being fucked then it won't matter.” I told them. “I just need to have pain as well as pleasure.”

I don't think they believed I was for real but they were interested in fucking me and they were prepared to abuse my body in the process. We went to sit down and enjoyed a few more drinks during which I learnt that the first chap I had spoken to was Dillon and his mate was Geoff. At one stage I had to go to the toilet and when I returned I could tell that they had been talking about me and no doubt discussing what they were going to do to me. The thought of them thinking about how they were to abuse my body sent a shudder of excitement through me. After a while we left the bar and headed to Geoff's house.

As we entered the door my heart was pounding with a mixture of fear and anticipation. I had never been back to a stranger's place before let alone in the company of two guys who physically were much stronger than me. No sooner was the door shut behind us than I felt both of them take an arm each and guide me to some steps leading below ground. Even though a light had been turned on it was only dimly lit and my eyes could not see the room very well except I was aware of chains hanging from the walls and other objects scattered about.

All further investigation ceased when I found my hands cuffed behind me and a mask pulled over my head which completely covered my eyes but left my nose and mouth free. It had a strap that fitted under my chin and around my neck so that it could not be yanked off without choking me. I had walked into this situation freely and rather than follow my initial instinct of panic I relaxed and let them manipulate me in any way they wanted. The next thing was that one of them drove his knee really hard into my thigh so that there was a sudden stab of pain and the leg no longer supported me. Then the same thing happened to the other leg and I collapsed to the floor as my legs gave way. My thigh muscles ached but it was the sort of pain I liked and I hardly let out a whimper.

“He can take some pain,” I heard Dillon say. “Let's put him on the cross and give him some CBT.”

My t-shirt was was lifted over my head and as I had my hands still cuffed it was pulled down to my wrists so that my chest was bare. I felt hands feeling my nipples and squeezing them hard. I had been used to my schoolmate doing this and the pain produced brought back pleasant memories but, because I couldn't see what was happening, it felt even better. They brought me to my feet and released the handcuffs so that my t-shirt could be removed completely. They then took an arm each and dragged me backwards until I was leaning against some sort of framework. They shackled each of my wrists high above my head to chains hanging from this frame. My legs had recovered sufficiently so that I could stand and they proceeded to removed my trainers, jeans and pants so that I was completely naked. My legs were now pulled apart and each ankle was also shackled to the frame so that only the balls of my feet were making contact with the floor and providing minimal support for my body.

Satisfied that they had me immobilised I felt the whole framework, which I later learnt was a St Andrew's cross, lift and tip forward slightly so that my feet left the ground completely and my arms were not just being held upright but the weight of my body was being suspended just by them. There was no way to reduce the weight my arms had to bear as the cross was tipped further and further. Just when I thought my shoulders would be dislocated the cross was brought upright again. The pain both in my shoulder joints and muscles was intense but I felt exhilarated.

I had no sooner become upright when I felt a hand grabbing my testicles and a loop of leather was put around them and pulled tight. I then felt a pull on the loop and my balls were drawn slightly between my legs and held in place there. There was no pain but it felt somehow horny. I think my cock must have reacted to this feeling as both the men laughed when they saw I had a semi.

“Let's give that foreskin some treatment,” I heard Geoff say this time. I was uncut and they had noticed my cockhead making its way into the open air as my cock got more aroused. I heard a metallic sound as one of them rummaged around for what he wanted. About a minute later I felt hands on my dick and then the first of three clamps being attached to my foreskin. The jaws of the clamps had blunt teeth which made me grimace as they bit into my skin without breaking the flesh. The pain was delicious and I was determined not to cry out loud.

“Do you think he needs a ball gag?” I heard Dillon ask.

“No I want to hear him scream,” Geoff replied and I could hear both menace and laughter in his voice. At that same time the cross started to tip forward again.

The pain from the clamps on my foreskin had made me forget the loop around my balls but not for long. As the cross tipped forward my balls were being pulled back by the loop so that my scrotum was being stretched. The loop must have been attached to something immobile so that it was being held as the cross tilted. This was beginning to seriously hurt and I had no choice but to scream out loud as the pain intensified. Upon the first sound escaping my mouth the tilting of the cross stopped The pain subsided and I felt that horniness in my groin again. My penis which was pointing at the floor was filling with blood once more.

I was feeling pain in three places. My balls, my shoulders which were once again taking the strain of my weight and the clamps on my foreskin. I hung for several seconds like this and the thoughts that raced through my head were not to relieve the pain which paradoxically was starting to make me feel good but to wish that at the same time as this was happening the guys were beating my arse with their studded belts.

That was not their intention though. Up until them I hadn't realise what CBT meant but I had now worked out that it had to be cock and ball torture and these blokes wanted to see how much I could take. One by one weights were added to each of the foreskin clamps keeping my cock pointing downwards but also stretching my foreskin. The weight was not a problem but its addition made the teeth of the clamps dig into my flesh even more. Rather than screaming now I was gently moaning as I felt the skin surrounding my cock being dragged towards the floor.

“Fuck, this lad's got some stamina,” I heard one of them say but my mind was so full of the pleasure behind the pain that I could not tell who it was. “Let's tilt him just a little bit more, I want to hear him scream again.”

I guessed it must have been Geoff who said this he had seemed the more sadistic of the two. Straightaway I felt the cross move and the pain in the three areas of my body, particularly my testicles, returned suddenly and with renewed force. The scream I uttered came without my knowing it. The cross stopped once again and this time it had tipped over further than ever. I could hear the blokes laughing at my distress and this caused me to blank out the pain and feel only the adrenaline that was entering my veins. Once more I felt my dick trying to rise against the weights holding it down as the blood coursed through it spurred on by the stimulus my body was experiencing.