African Gay Experiences

That night Thomas did not visit the bar, the most popular place at night. On all
evenings the guests in the lodge would sit at the bar, chatting and watching
musical shows on digital satellite TV broadcasts, till late in the evening as
they sipped Kuche Kuche (the local beer) lagers.

On this night someone had called Thomas on the phone from the bar, "hey man,
what is happening? Why are you not here?" But he had no energy to go to the bar
tonight. He was just thinking about Issa. At night, he lay in bed tossing. When
he finally drifted to sleep he dreamt of Issa, rowing him in a boat in the lake
as they sang happily like two small kids. Then it turned out that it was not
Issa, actually it was his brother Sam. By the time he woke up the next morning
he was exhausted because of sleeping badly. But he dashed to the beach, hoping
that Issa would somehow turn up.

Thomas stayed at the beach till around 10.00 a.m., yet there was no sign of
Issa. After that he had a formal planning session in the conference room that
went up to the lunch hour. But he was not really concentrating.

"You have been rather low," Sue said to him at coffee break. "Do you mind
telling me what is wrong?" How could he tell her that he had just thought that
he had found an angel, but he had simply disappeared into thin air like the
morning dew.

"I may tell you soon, but there is something certainly bothering me," Thomas
told Sue. But she insisted, "is it that boy I found you with? Has he dumped
you?" How could Issa dump him? He had only known him for a very short time, yet
he felt like he knew him for years, like he belonged to him. Thomas is an
emotional person and has deep feelings for people. But in his whole life he had
never felt for anyone else the way he did for Issa. It was as if Issa had
touched a love nerve that Thomas never knew existed.

The meeting with Issa reminded him of his school days. He was educated in a
school that was set inside a military barrack. The school was meant specifically
for children of service men. But it admitted children from the surrounding areas
as long as they had good grades. It is here that he had met Michael. Michael had
just enrolled at the school after his father's battalion (or unit, he could not
recall what exactly they called it) was transferred to the barracks. This was
usual, his school had the greatest mobility of students. They came and they went
as their fathers' units were transferred.

Michael had become his instant friend from day one. Thomas had noticed him as he
came in and was introduced to the class by Mrs Maniki, the protuberant bellied
principal who made it her point to introduce every student who came in. At lunch
hour, Thomas had walked over to Michael and chatted him up. After that, they had
strolled together to the Armed Forces Canteen Organisation (AFCO) shop, where
pupils were allowed to purchase things, for Cokes and burgers.

Michael had moved his desk that afternoon, coming from the front to the back to
sit next to Thomas. Michael was Thomas's real love. Although they did nothing
much – touching, kissing and fondling each other – the magnet was there. Even in
class, Michael and Thomas's would hold hands and they would remain like that for
long. Thomas remembered his literature teacher, Mrs Maduso, commenting: "If you
guys were in the Western world (Europe and America), someone may misconstrue
your behaviour to mean something else." What she did not know is that it would
not be a misconstruction. If she had known that they kissed and fondled each
other every day the old fashioned Mrs Maduso would probably have had a cardiac
arrest there and there.

Then one day Thomas found a note from Michael; "I am so sorry that I did not
have the strength to tell you this straight in your face. If I did I would have
cried. I am emotionally broken since my father's unit has been transferred. By
the time you read this note I will be in the military truck with my family,
headed for another battalion. I love you and will continue to love you forever.
I have carried away one of your exercise books, the one that we wrote some of
our jokes. I want to remember you through that book – your handwriting, your
jokes. I have also left in your desk my handkerchief. I have put my name on it
so that you can remember me…" Thomas was devastated. After that, for a long
time, nothing seemed good at school. Even his grades plummeted. But he had,
unlike Sue, overcome the childhood heartbreak.

Back to the lake, that afternoon there were no formal sessions. So Thomas
strolled to the beach. Then he saw him. He was seated near the spot they had
met, facing the sea. As he approached Thomas called out "Issa!". "Come here, my
dear," Issa said and gestured for him to sit besides him. Before Thomas could
say anything, before he could ask him what went wrong, Issa's hand was on his
waist wrapping and bringing him closer to him. His other hand held him under the
chin, drawing his face close to his. Then his wet lips landed on those of Thomas
for the deepest and most passionate kiss he had ever known.

"Close your eyes," Issa said. "No. I will not close my eyes only to find you
gone," Thomas said jokingly. "I will not leave you," Issa assured. So Thomas
closed his eyes. Issa pushed something to Thomas's hand. "Do not open your eyes
yet, first I want to kiss you the way you are first," Issa said as his lips
explored those of Thomas. They stayed locked, engaging in kissing for close to
five minutes. "Now you can open your eyes and look at what I have given you,"
Issa said after he released Thomas.

It was a painting done on canvas, large canvas with a painted illustration of
both of them lying in the water, hugging each other. Issa was certainly a very
good painter and he must have really concentrated to come up with the painting.
"I made this the whole of yesterday but I could not finish it. So I continued in
the morning. I really wanted you to have it. That is why I was unable to make it
here yesterday afternoon and today in the morning.

Issa had inscribed on the painting: "To the Most Wonderful Boy who has
rejuvenated my Life. This is for Thomas from Issa. May our love blossom like the
flowers in the fields." Thomas felt so touched. He grabbed Issa, bringing him
close to him for another intimate hug and passionate kisses. From the corner of
his eyes Thomas could see John standing far in the beach watching them, hesitant
to come closer. Thomas did not know what John was thinking, but he did not seem
shocked at all. Thomas could have hugged him too, after all he is the one who
had made Issa come to him.

"I am an artist. I paint and offer my paintings to the beach vendors who sell
them for a commission," Issa told Thomas. "When I saw you I knew it was love at
first sight. I felt that I could express that love with the best talent that I
have. I do not know why, but you lit up a fire in me when I saw you" Apparently,
Issa had seen Thomas before on the beach but did not have the courage to come to
him. "When I saw you with John, I knew that I had to make my move. Before that I
did not know how to approach you. John offered the opportunity," Issa told
Thomas.

"Issa, this is a great gift. I am really touched. But most important is that I
have you. I got really worried when I did not see you at the agreed time. The
fact that I missed you greatly made me realise how much I value you. I love the
gift but it is you I love even more. Please Issa, never let me feel so lonesome
again, even if it is for the sake of a gift. I was really worried when I did not
see you yesterday and today morning. It was an eternity for me," Thomas said to
Issa.

"Issa. You are coming to dinner with me at the restaurant. After that you are
staying in my room," Thomas said with finality "I do not care what anyone says,
I want you to stay in my room throughout the period I am here. After that I want
us to be also together.
"Its Ok with me," Issa replied, "I also long to be with you every day".

That evening, Sue was surprised to see Thomas at the dinner table with Issa,
occasionally holding hands. Normally, the Youth to Youth group had dinner at a
reserved table. There were glances all over from his colleagues but they did not
ask questions. this was a liberal group and probably some of them were still
looking for their sexual identities. But Thomas did not care at all about what
was going on in their minds. Issa was the most important thing now and it was
like he was coming out of the closet by his actions, not words.

Later on that night as they sat in the bar with Issa, Thomas grabbed a moment to
show Sue the painting and told her what had happened. "I am so glad for you. I
did not know this kind of thing happens in Africa," Sue told him as she hugged
him and wiped tears from her eyes. "My youngest brother, who is about your age,
is gay too. When he came out the first person he told was me," Sue said. "He too
has a very good relationship in Amsterdam. I am the only one who does not seem
to do well in love," Sue told said.

"Sue, you are a beautiful and honest person. I am sure that love is lurking
somewhere for you. It is just a matter of time before someone pops in and you
will have the best time in the world. After all you are still very young and the
doors of opportunities are numerous," Thomas found himself telling Sue. Thomas
have never been an "agony aunt" (or uncle) but he felt that he had to say this
to Sue not to flatter her but so that she could realise the real person she was.

Postscript:
Michael and Issa live together in a nice chalet next to the lake. Michael was
offered a job at the beach hotel as the resident DJ while Issa continues with
his painting career. He has a small art shop, popular with guests, at the same
hotel. Their love has blossomed like the flowers in the fields and on weekends
they sometimes go to the Lizard Island, a quiet, tranquil island for quiet time
together.

ends

Caleb Muchungu is a gay black African journalist living in southern Africa.

Faces in the Sand, an original radio play by Caleb Muchungu

Synopsis:
Chileka Musa, a young unemployed graduate, is arrested and thrown in Palemba
Prison (in an imaginary African country) after being caught kissing another man
in a pub. Here, brutalised by warders and inmates alike and suffering from
psychological torture of being rejected by family and friends, he starts a
reflection and analysis of his own life and society. He sees a society that
thrives on hypocrisy and deceit. Chileka explores other issues such as violence
(including domestic) and alienation. He wonders at the irony of Palemba Prison,
where same sex activities go on every night â€" yet those involved deny that
they are interested in their own sex. They prefer to believe that they are only
inflicting pain and punishment to their victims. Chileka also recalls of his
former gay college mate and lover who is forced to marry in order to prove that
he is straight. This play explores a subject that many Africans pretend does not
exist. The play also exposes the horrible detention conditions in many African
prisons including the spread of HIV due to unprotected same sex activities. The
writer has chosen an imaginary country so that it is representative of the
entire continent. He has also chosen the controversial subject in order to
highlight the problems of men who have sex with men (msm) who are normally
shunned and even left out in HIV/AIDS programmes in Africa. South Africa
recognised same sex marriages as this play was being written.
*(This is an original radio play by Caleb Muchungu. It has not been published
before or enacted anywhere. All the characters, events and places are fictious
and not intended to portray anyone alive or dead. It was submitted to the BBC
African Plays.

CAST:
1. Chileka Musa
2. Prison Warder
Flashback minor characters:
* Magistrate
* Father (Chileka's)
* Mother (Chileka's)
* Preacher

Faces in the Sand

(Sound of a baton violently scrapping against metal grating and steps of someone
walking heavily)

Chileka (almost whispering in a sense of urgency then his voice rising up)
Listen! Listen! Here he comes. That is the way he comes in every morning,
creating fear and panic! They call him Wire. He is the most brutal warder in
this prison. You should see his handiwork. Every one of us here bears his mark.
Broken bones, whip lashes, name it…He carries a whip made out of thick twisted
wire strands. That is why they call him Wire.

(HARSH Male warder voice shouting): Wake up! Wake up you dirty cockroaches! You
are not at home! This is not a lodge! This is Palemba! ,a prison set up to
punish you dirty criminals.

(sound of pans being knocked all over in panic)

Chileka (as if talking to himself): Hear the way they knock things all over to
get out of his way in fear. They say he has killed two inmates in the past. One
of the inmates accidentally cut a maize seedling as he was working in the
fields. He was bludgeoned to death.

The other inmate killed was caught with a razor blade, a highly forbidden item
in the prison. Wire immersed the man's head in a bucket full of water till he
drowned as other inmates watched.

He will end up in this cell and he will surely hit me with his truncheon. He
seems to enjoy doing that. Why me? Well, he knocks everybody he can lay his
hands on, but he seems to enjoy knocking me more. He says I am the scum of the
earth! The dirtiest and most vile creature they ever brought here to Palemba
Prison. At Palemba we are all scum, but I am the worst scum. He says I am like
something the cat brought in last night.

(Sound of heavy metal door being kicked open, then someone being hit several
times)

Chileka (in pain): Wow! Aaah! Wuuiii!

Warder's voice: Why are you looking at me like that, eeeh? Do I look like your
relative or one of your male lovers? (another sound of beatings) get out all of
you, go take your porridge so that you can labour in the fields for the state!

Chileka: I told you so. He picks on me on all kinds of excuses. It has become a
routine. Today it is that I am staring at him, yesterday it was that I was not
squatting properly. Yes, here you have to squat when warders are talking to you
and you have to answer Afande. Don't even imagine of saying 'Sir†instead.
The guy who said 'Sir†last time lost all his front teeth and his jaw is now
skewed.

(mimicking what the warder said) You think that you know a lot of English? Eeeh?
You think this is your home? Now you are a white man? Eeeh? You think that we
did not go to school also? Here you have no degree or school certificate. Once
you come here we flash those silly papers down the toilet bowl. This is Palemba,
we do not want your English or education here.

The warders think that you are slighting them when you speak in English. You
should have seen it. I could hear teeth breaking as he beat the poor guy so
badly with the huge truncheon that he carries around. When the human rights body
visited the prison recently the warders said that the man is a mental case, that
he hurt himself after continuously banging his face against the wall. We were
warned not to deviate from that story.

Warder: Mr Commissioner from the Rights Body, Sir, this is one of the problems
that the prison is facing. We get so many of these insane people. The courts
should instead send them to mental hospitals. But they keep on sending them to
prison.

Chileka (WITH A CHUCKLE): Imagine that, so shameless they are they will tell all
sorts of lies without blinking an eye.

Voices of other inmates: Hello woman, how was your night? How is your husband?
How come today you are not wearing a skirt?

Chileka: Even the other convicts do not like me. They despise me. They call me a
woman, some call me other names that I dare not mention to you. The first time I
came here they all beat me in my cell. All of them. Except Katili. Katili has
become my secret friend. He sympathises with me, though he does not show it too
much to avoid being beaten also.