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It was June 1977. I was about to enter high school the following September. At 5'2" and 160 lbs., I was chubby academic superstar with a pathetic social life. Kids at high school called me by one name.... "fats." Finally, although I knew that I paid more attention to the men than the women in my father's "hustler" magazines, I had no occasion to act on any of my carnal desires.

I was determined to change the way the world looked at me. As such, I put myself on a summer starvation diet of salads and TAB. I also exercised maniacally, playing paddleball (a game similar to racquetball) for twelve hours daily on the courts next to the Coney Island Aquarium in Brooklyn, NY.

By Labor Day Weekend an impressive transformation had taken place. I grew seven inches in height over the summer and concomitantly lost 35 lbs. At 5'9", 125 lbs, deeply tanned, with thick black hair and
tree trunk legs I was nice Jewish boy who had metamorphosized into
the stud-next-door.

It was Saturday moring of Labor Day Weekend and I was all alone my family's oceanfront Brighton Beach apartment. You see, my parents had taken the Plymouth Fury up to the Nevele Hotel in the Catskills for the weekend. Normally, I would've gone with them. However, I had just landed a job for the school year delivering the Daily News, and the job started Labor Day morning.

Excited at the prospect of having the weekend to myself, I quickly showered and headed down to the paddleball courts. It was only 7AM,
and the courts were deserted. I decided to hit solo against the wall of court number one until some players showed up.

About fifteen minutes later two WASPY looking guys who obviously weren't from Brooklyn showed up. They started hitting together on
court two. Both of them were wearing white ribbed tank tops and snug fitting, striped "Dolphin" shorts. Although they appeared to be in their 40s, they were in great shape. One dude had short, curly blond hair, well muscled arms and smooth torso. The other had sandy brown hair and thick legs that filled out his shorts to perfection. I could feel my teenage hormones stir as I discreetly checked them out.

Unfortunately, or fortunately as you will soon learn, they weren't very good players. I guess that emboldened me to casually ask them if they would be interested in playing me, two against one. Without any hesitation, they jumped at the chance and joined me on court one.
The blond guy's name was Kevin and the other guy was Tim. I learned that they took the subway in from Greenwich Village, where they both lived. Hmm I wondered....did they live together?

Subconsciously, I guess I really wanted to impress them with my physical prowess, and I proceeded to obliterate them 21-3, 21-5 and 21-2. Duely impressed (or amused by my adolescent effort to impress), they offered to take me out to breakfast to celebrate my wins.

I explained that the Greek coffeeshop was at least a two mile walk. I quickly explained that my family was away on vacation, and that I would love for them to come up to the apartment for some bagels & lox.

To be continued....

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