Posted by marcuz hey dude that is a great story, with only a little grammar checking needed...
other than that it was good...
i actually liked the story from how you present it, from the setting, to the characters and positioning of your words/slang like how they talk...
but one think i will like to ask of you is to pull me in further,tell me their dark secrets and past on how they met, where the hatred started, why he's got a rebound boy, and make me feel like i'm there...
one more thing, keep going at it as you are with no sex unless you want too or it's meaningful...
not just i want this hot guy, he finally notice me, he fucks me, rapes me whatever and that's it, there's is a lot of those on here...
Posted by Lana OMFG!!!!!!!! I cant believe he did that post more post more PWEESE SOON!!!!!!!
Fran and I had gotten a hotel room for our first weekend liberty after nine weeks of boot camp. We had had an incredible night of hot sex. We decided to go to breakfast before going back to our room for a day of sex...