Posted by raff mikie is a great writer and should be praised highly this is a great series and should be encouraged to continue
Posted by Mike Overall this is a brilliant story - unfortunately this chapter is a little like the last one in that it flits all over the place and doesn't spend enough time fully exploring one story line.
To make it fully enjoyable I would suggest only exploring two strands of the story in any chapter - it would then make what is now good back to being brilliant!
Posted by Mikey I'm setting the stage for big changes. And I'm trying to develop all the characters and advance them-make them grow. I can't just spend time on Mitch/Colby all the time. I found myself against a wall. It was becoming Mitch/Colby fuck-fest over and over. I decided to focus on Drake/Cole's relationship since the other two are in different places. And I needed Nick to explore his feeling about his son and Marie's vulnerability with the fire. I had Mitch go through a range of emotions and Colby is clueless of what's coming. I appreciate your feedback, but I'm really proud of this chapter.Mikey
Posted by Kat Mate, what's happening? Your last two chapters, though enjoyable reading, have as Mike says, appeared somewhat jumbled. The introduction of new characters was good in taking the story in opening up other angles and all that, but it seems that the characters are all competing with each other for prominence, especially in the last two chapters. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to have Mitch and Colby on the periphery in a chapter or two, and have the odd chapter focus on either of the other characters. Kinda lika a branch road that runs parallel to the main road with small glimpses here and there of whats going on on the main road. That way, I think, it would make for easier following and also develop all the characters fully though separately, although not divorced.
Posted by Andy Hey Mikey,
Your doing fine. I know I have enjoyed all the chapters. Just keep them comming.
Posted by Scott Benson RE: Comment by Mike
LOOK, the whole idea is to set it as a soap opera style thing. You look at several issues during the same period of time, thats how things happen, so consequently the fact that Mikey is DEVELOPING these character is CONTRIBUTING to the story, not taking away from it or making it "flit" all over the place! You need to understand the true art behind writing stories before you can criticize!
Posted by Lee1746 I have been following your story an can't wait for the next chaptor.
I don't follow many stories but every now an then there comes one that u can't stay away from an this is one of them , may i say that u r a verry good story teller keep it comming Lee1746