Freaking Out Mr Pierce

Chapter 1

About ten years ago, when I was still at boarding school, a group of us lads were caught getting pissed one Saturday evening. We'd smuggled three or four bottles of vodka into one guy's room and were having a pretty good time downing as much of it as we could in the small hours after lights-out - having a pretty good time, that is, until our housemaster, Mr Johnson, barged in on us in his dressing gown.

Our punishment was to lose our single rooms for a week. Now, if you went to boarding school, you'll know that the privacy afforded by a single room is highly sought-after, and its loss - even if only temporary - is quite an effective deterrent against misbehaviour. In our case the blow was multiplied by the fact that we weren't being transferred into double or triple rooms, as usually happened, but that we had to spend a week in one of the old dormitories which the most junior boys used to occupy.

The dormitory we were put in was awaiting conversion into smaller rooms, as making large groups of boys share rooms was, even by then, starting to be seen as unacceptable. It was in a pretty bad state: paint was peeling from some of the walls; the desks were dilapidated and carved with people's names; and a couple of the windows were cracked with brown parcel tape holding them together.

It was difficult to imagine that, in its time, the dorm had housed eight eleven- and twelve-year-old boys, as just the six of us eighteen-year-olds filled it to bursting. There was barely enough room for the beds and furniture: floor-space had been seen, evidently, as something of an unnecessary luxury. We literally couldn't move without climbing over each other's stuff or having to ask each other to get out of the way.

Mr Johnson had smirked when he saw how cramped we were in the dormitory and how uncomfortable the week was going to be for us.

I remember that one of the other lads being punished, a mouthy guy called Dobby, had argued with him that being holed up together as we were was unfair: "Normally we have to share with a third or fourth form guy for a week if we get caught drinking... no-one's ever had to do this..."

Johnson had shrugged. "There are just two rooms with spare beds in them, guys. You know that..."

"So two of us can go into those. At least there'd be a bit more space in here," Dobby had suggested.

Johnson shook his head. "So then I'd have four of you complaining that I don't punish fairly...?"

My mate Simon had said, "We wouldn't. We could draw straws or something..."

Johnson had smirked again. "You're staying here, guys. End of discussion. You were all caught doing the same thing, so you all get the same deal now..."

Dobby had tried again. "But we can't move without climbing all over each other..."

Johnson chuckled, "Well then it looks like you guys are going to have to get used to being intimate around each other for the next seven days..."

Dobby turned to look at Adam, his best mate, with a look of angry exasperation. Adam shrugged and shook his head.

Johnson added, "But don't get a bit too... er... intimate, guys. I asked Mr Pierce to check on you from time to time... we wouldn't want to upset his religious sensibilities, would we?"

He'd chuckled heartily at his own wit, clearly unmoved that his audience didn't find him the least bit amusing, and had then had left us to complain to one another about the injustice of it all.

Dobby had turned toward us, his face livid. He'd said, impersonating Mr Johnson with a camp, prattling tone, "'We wouldn't want to upset Mr Pierce's religious sensibilities, would we?' Jesus... that guy's so fucking funny... I'm like pissing myself uncontrollably..."

My mate Ed added, dourly, "We all are, mate... it's filling the room..."

"It's up to our fucking knees..." That was Adam, scowling.

Mr Pierce came to see us as we were starting to unpack our week's worth of essentials. He was a newly-qualified teacher, in his first year of work I guess, and lived in the tutor's flat which adjoined the dormitory. Being just four or five years older than us, his attitude toward us was generally pretty lenient and he tended to be quite laid-back about most minor matters of discipline. The exception to this was anything to do with sex. I don't know if he was as religious as everyone made out, but he became noticeably uncomfortable if anyone made a joke about sex - unless it was extremely tame and clearly within the context of marriage - and punished things like the possession of girlie mags more severely than other staff.

When he emerged from his flat, walking down the short staircase into the dormitory, he smiled at us almost apologetically.

Dobby immediately tried the same arguments on him as he had on Johnson, bemoaning the lack of space and privacy, and the general unfairness of it all.

Pierce had shrugged helplessly. "There's no point, lads, it's not my call. Mr Johnson makes the rules - "

"But you don't think it's fair, right?" Adam chipped in.

Pierce shook his head. "I didn't say that. As it happens, I think he got it about right - "

Dobby chuckled hollowly. "Oh, yeah... making six grown lads live in a room the size of a rabbit hutch just for getting drunk once... yeah, that sounds pretty fair..."

Pierce smiled. "Come on, it's not that small. And it's only for a week. Unless there are any more problems..."

That was when I chipped in. I asked, "What do you mean? 'Any more problems'? Like what?"

Pierce shrugged. "Anything against school rules, I guess. Mr Johnson asked me to make regular checks - including during the night - to make sure you guys could keep out of trouble for a week..."

"And if we don't?" Adam again.

"Well, if you don't, I guess you'll be cooped up in here for a little while longer... it's not being renovated until the summer break, so there's plenty more time for you to enjoy the... er..." He glanced out of one of the cracked windows at the fire escape and dustbins which the room overlooked, and smirked: "Scenic views..."

Dobby grabbed his crotch theatrically. "Stop... stop... you're making it flow again..."

Pierce ignored him, grinning to himself, and told us to unpack our things into the narrow wardrobes and tiny drawers of the dormitory.

It was late that night, after the official lights-out time of the boarding house when the six of us were lying in our beds chatting, that the extent of the regular checks which Pierce had referred to became clear.

Starting from about ten thirty, Pierce came down to check us almost every fifteen minutes. At first it was kind of funny but it soon lost its novelty appeal and became annoying: he was treating us as though we were little kids needing constant supervision.

Steven Campbell - who'd only got caught up in the whole thing because he'd somehow acquired his older brother's identity card and so could buy the grog - had asked him, "What do you think we're going to do in here, sir? We're hardly likely to pull out another few bottles and start drinking them on your doorstep, are we?"

Pierce had shrugged. He was clearly ready for his own bed and was wearing only a teeshirt, with the name of some god-awful band on it, and a pair of hideous paisley-patterned briefs which even my dad would think twice about wearing. "I was told to check on you guys until your lights are off and you're asleep..."

"But we're just talking... you can see that..."

Pierce had muttered, "Hurry up and turn in... I don't want this going on past midnight..." and had gone back up to his flat. As he trotted up the short flight of stairs, I noticed that the back of his briefs were stretched and saggy.

It was after Pierce's third or fourth check on us that someone - Adam, I think, but I can't be sure - had suggested something to stop him spying on us.

He'd said, "Next time he comes down, why don't we freak him out? Like pretend we're wanking?"

Dobby had laughed. "Yeah... you know how weird he gets about sexual stuff... he'll probably have to run back to his flat to say a dozen Hail Marys or something..."

I wasn't so sure. "He'll know we're just messing around... just beating the bedclothes with our fists..."

Dobby grinned. "Not if we have our cocks out... show him the works..."

I grinned back, a little incredulous. "What? Really do it? In front of him?"

Dobby chuckled. "Yeah, why not? This is our room. We can have a wank in it if we want to..."

"Are you sure it's not against school rules or something?" Simon asked.

Adam cackled. "What... wanking? Come on, mate..."

Simon smiled. "No... I mean wanking in front of a member of staff... there might be a rule against doing that... I dunno..."

Ed chipped in: "Since they've made this our room, why shouldn't we treat it like we would if were in our normal rooms? I mean, it's Pierce's own fault if he gets offended... he shouldn't be coming down spying on us..."

We all nodded in agreement. It was settled.

One of us laughed about how we were supposed to remain straight-faced when Pierce emerged from his flat and found us all masturbating openly with the lights on.

Adam cut in, quite insistently, "Come on - we've got to do this as if it's serious. I mean, no gasping and writhing... no amateur dramatics... we're just having a plain old last-thing-at-night wank..."

"What if one of us cums?" Simon asked.

The rest of us chuckled.

Dobby said, "It'd be pretty good if someone did, actually. Pierce'd probably have to wake his priest and get some holy water thrown over him or something..."

We laughed and then I said, "I don't think I'd be able to... I don't know if I'm going to be able to get hard, actually..."

Campbell cut in, "That's a point - we'd better get started if we're gonna be ready for him next time he comes down..."

The six of us reached down beneath our bedsheets and started groping ourselves. Then we looked over at one another, seeing the bulges of each other's fists moving up and down, and burst out laughing.