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: Erotic_Stories : Holiday Lodge - total 2 reviews. 
Reviews 2 :
- read story, Author : Josh. PS: Reviews num is regularly updated.
Holiday Lodge reviews
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Posted by Mikey
Ok, some tips. Slower is better. Too much way too fast. You may have potential bud, but you squeezed too much into your short story. Take time to tell it bud. There's no need to rush it. Think back to your school days when you needed to write how the teacher wanted to feel they were living your story. Bring people into the story. Let them get comfortable.
A lot of the men that read these stories do so to get aroused and get off. We/they aren't even allowed to get hot when these stories are told so fast. You need words that bring the men into your mind so to speak.
Good luck, and if you write again, take time to tell a good story. :)
Posted by Jake
Yes exactly, What Mikey said.. You guys have great imaginations, but the way you pack these details into one sentence.. It just can't/doesn't work. So, take a deep breath.. Begin writing.. Use explicit details. This grabs the audience' attention.
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