Kevin's Father 7

*** Chapter 7

When I woke up next morning it was past 8 O’clock. . Kevin was not in the room. As he was not in the bathroom either, I thought that he must have got up earlier and gone downstairs. So, I pulled on my pajamas and went down the stairs to look for him. But half way down, I saw Kevin sleeping on the couch. I tried to make some noise, but he did not wake up. I went to the dinning room and found that the light was on. I also found an envelope addressed to Dan beside the letter-pad and pen, all lying on the table. I switched off the light and went upstairs to shower.

When I came back, I found Kevin still sleeping. So, I woke him up reminding him that we have to go to the hospital to see mother. He got up in haste and apologized for sleeping so late. He had gone to bed at 2 am after writing a long letter to Dan, telling him about mother’s illness and the cost that we are likely to incur. He was dead-tired and did not even have the strength to climb the stairs. So he lay down on the couch.

I told him that I could understand how tired he was, because he had not even switched off the dinning room light, before falling asleep. He apologized again and looked up the clock to note the time. It was nearing 10 am. “Oh God!” he said and rushed upstairs to take his bath. I reminded him that he can even use the bathroom in mother’s bedroom. But he disapproved of it as he went. He came back in fifteen minutes and said that we have to leave immediately. I was ready. So, Kevin took out the car. I reminded him that we need to stop at the Post Office to post his letter. Thereupon he rushed to the dinning room and brought the envelope with him. Then he reminded me about cashing the cheque, which mother had given me.

“Both of us had forgotten our duties,” I said as we got into the car and drove away. We decided to stop at the Bank first and then at the Post Office. We then thought of grabbing some sandwiches at Arby’s Restaurant on the way and eat as we drove downtown.

We reached the hospital at about 12 noon. Another doctor, in the hospital’s green overall met us at the ICU and told us that mother has been taken for a scan of her brain and will be brought back to her bed after 1 pm. We patiently waited at the waiting room, looking up some magazines kept there. Neither of us spoke a word. An attendant came and informed us that mother is back in her bed in the ICU and that only one of us can go near her, after removing our shoes and wearing the green overall and a green cap. Kevin said that I should go and see my mother first. He will go next. So, I went inside. I had a shock when I saw my mother. I could not recognize her immediately for they had shaved her head and it was covered with a white cloth. Her eyes filled with tears, when she saw me. I went and held her hand and remembered what the pastor had told me. So I told her to be brave and everything would be OK. She understood that I was trying to encourage her. She asked me to open the middle drawer on the left hand side, in the chest of drawers in her bedroom, with the keys that were in her purse and take out a small red box in which she had kept her wedding ring and other jewels. She asked me to give them to the pastor, so that he may sell them and get the money needed for the treatment. The money in the bank was to be used sparingly for daily needs and for my educational purposes. The doctor then said that mother needs to take rest and we can wait in the waiting room. Food was available at the canteen in the basement, they informed us. When I asked them whether Kevin, could go in to see mother, they suggested he can do so the next day.

At the waiting room, I shared with Kevin what mother told me. We sat next to each other and planned what we need to do. Kevin said that under the circumstances, it was best that he gave up his studies. I objected and said that his dad will not like it. Moreover, as it is my mother who had fallen ill, it was I who must discontinue my studies. Kevin said that he thought about this matter even yesterday and had written to his dad, asking permission to discontinue studies. I marveled at Kevin’s forethought, but felt unhappy that I would have to go to school and sit in the class without him. So, I said that I would think about going to school or not on Monday, which was the day after next. We waited in the waiting room till evening and as they did not allow us to see mother but asked us to come the next day, Kevin and I drove back home. The house was in darkness again like the previous day, because we had forgotten to switch on the outside light, when we left at 10 am in the morning.

The next three weeks were nightmarish. Kevin met mother once and she had told him pretty much what she had told me. Then she had also told him to take care of me as he was older to me. “He is like your younger brother,” she had said. “Care for him as you would, if you had one.” Kevin told me this one night as we cuddled in bed together. We never had any sex all the days mother was in the hospital.

A reply to Kevin’s letter to his father came after a week. In that, Dan had said that under the circumstances, it was better if both of us discontinued our studies. His reasoning was that, we both could be of help to each other in taking care of mother and the house. Kevin had to take care of their house too, on and off. Dan had also mentioned that as the construction work had gone into some rough weather, the company had promised to pay all its employees their salaries, only after two months. So, Dan suggested that if Kevin needed money, he could sell the car and utilize whatever he gets. He had also said that the garage owner would help in selling the car. We consulted the Pastor on all these matters and he said that it would be better if we wrote to the Headmaster about the present crisis in the family and request him to permit both of us to discontinue our studies this academic year, and admit us into the same class, next year. He even drafted the letter for us and we both signed it. He then took the responsibility of meeting the Headmaster in person and delivering the letter, after explaining the genuineness of our case.

So, Kevin and I put away all our books and started concentrating on the household chores. We took turns at washing and cleaning, but Kevin did all the cooking—that is, whatever he could manage. We usually got up early in the morning, got ready our breakfast and left home in the car at the same time we would normally go to school. We went to the hospital and stayed there the whole day, eating our lunch at the cafeteria and looking up mother, on and off. The pastor and his wife would drop in some evenings and then all four of us used to go to the canteen and have a cup of tea and biscuits. Many days, the pastor would insist that he would pay and when he left, would invite Kevin and me to attend the worship service on Sunday mornings.

One Sunday, we decided to go to the church service before going over to the hospital. On hearing that we intended to attend the worship service, mother was overjoyed and asked us to pray earnestly for her recovery. That Sunday, Pastor Matthew had invited another preacher who preached on the sin of homosexuality. He condemned all who practiced it and said that God had intended men to have sexual relationship only with women for the sole purpose of raising children. Any other sexual desire was a sin and will be punished by God. I looked at Kevin when the preacher was preaching and he smiled and whispered into my ears:

“Love for each other is not a sin. The Bible tells us that clearly! Remember David and Jonathan?”

Both of us got up quietly and left the church. Some members sitting at the back looked at us curiously and whispered among themselves. They must have certainly thought that we left the church because we were homosexual lovers. Was it true? I wondered all along the way, as we drove.

Days rolled by. Dan did not write any letter nor send any money to Kevin. Our daily routine was so tight that Kevin had no time to sit and write letters to his dad. Then, after about a month, the doctors said that mother had to undergo brain surgery as there was no improvement in her condition, despite treatment with costly drugs. The surgery would cost heavily and they left the option to us to decide whether to go in for it or not. Mother said that as it would cost exorbitantly, she would rather do without it. But the pastor suggested that it would be the only solution to her cure. Kevin and I talked to the chief doctor privately and learnt that any brain surgery involved only 50 percent success. This worried us. So Kevin decided to send a telegram to his father, asking him for his suggestions. The telegram said:
‘BRAIN SURGERY SUGGESTED—VERY EXPENSIVE—FIFTY PERCENT SUCCESS INDICATED—ADVICE’ - Kevin

After two days of anxious waiting, a reply was received. It read:
‘SURGERY ADVISABLE—CONSIDER SELLING HOUSE—LETTER FOLLOWS’ - Dan

Kevin was as much perturbed as I was on reading this telegram. Was Kevin’s father asking him to sell their house and meet the expenses? Or was he asking mother to sell our house to get the money? When we took the telegram to Pastor Matthew, he said that it would be a good idea to sell our house. He was positive that what Kevin’s father had meant was that the house of the patient was to be sold. As it sounded reasonable, we put the matter before mother. She was much worried and her headache increased. The doctors wanted us not to burden her with all such matters, as she was in a precarious condition.

We then requested the pastor to arrange for the sale of the house. I fished out some of the documents relating to the house from the chest-of-drawers. The pastor approached a reliable Real Estate Dealer who, in turn, advertised in the local Newspaper about the sale of the house. Soon a prospective buyer was found. The house was sold within a matter of a few days, along with the furniture. Taking some movable items, Kevin and I moved over to his house, as advised by Dan in a detailed letter that followed the telegram. With great hopes we all awaited the day of mother’s brain surgery. Mother called Kevin alone to her side the previous night and talked to him for some time. When Kevin came out of the room, his eyes were red with tears. I went in next and mother told me to pray to God that His grace would be with us all.
The day the surgery was preformed, I sat in the waiting room with a heavy heart. Kevin sat next to me and held my hand, on and off. Time ticked away. Then the nurse came into the room and called Kevin to come over. When I too got up to go, she told me to wait. At that moment, I knew that something was terribly wrong. The Nurse walked out of the room with Kevin. After a few minutes, Kevin came back to the room. He came straight to me and put his hands on my shoulders and said:

“I know you are a brave boy. Your mother did not make it. The doctors feel very bad that despite all their efforts, they could not save her life.”

I knew it. I knew it from the beginning. I had shuddered to think of it and now it was a reality. Mother is dead and I am left an orphan!

Many persons at the hospital looked at me with sympathy. On getting the news from the hospital, Pastor Matthew and his wife came a little later. Pastor’s wife hugged me and consoled me. They both said that they will arrange for the funeral at the church, so that the body may not be taken to Kevin’s house. Kevin rushed to the post-office to send a telegram to his father about the sad event.

At the funeral service, the pastor praised my mother loftily and said that she had sacrificed her life for bringing me up. She appealed to the congregation to approve sponsoring me for my education, out of church funds. When Kevin and I finally left the cemetery, Kevin made me sit next to him in the car and placing one hand on my lap, said:

“You know, mother must have had some presentiment about all this. When she called me alone and talked to me, she made me promise that I would always be your friend and would, as far as possible, keep you with me, even when my father returned.”
“And what did you say Kevin?” I asked.
“I told her that even before she had asked, I had promised her son that I would never leave him.” As Kevin said this, he put his right hand over my shoulders, keeping his left hand on the steering wheel. I felt like cuddling close to him, but as he was driving, kept away. But I took his right palm in both my hands and said:
“Kevin, you are my guardian angel.”

The next day, a telegram came from Dan saying:
‘SHOCKED—BE COURAGEOUS--LETTER FOLLOWS’- Dan.

The letter, addressed to Kevin, reached us after three days. Kevin read it and gave it to me to read, as it contained some consoling words, especially to me. Dan had said that I should not worry, as I was now his son and Kevin was my brother. He said that though his work was still not completed, he would be resigning his job the next day and would be coming over here, in a few days time!
But what interested both of us most was what he had penned at the bottom as a foot note. I read as follows:

“I have here found a good Mexican who helps me with cooking. She is the daughter of one of the workers here—an old man. She is young, beautiful and about the age of Kevin, may be a year or two younger. She is very honest and well behaved. What’s more, she is ready to go with me to Chicago. I am sure both of you will like her, particularly Kevin, who may even get attracted to her!”

When I read it, I looked up at Kevin and smiled. “So, your dad thinks that you will fall in love with her and take her to be your wife, is it not?” I asked.
“Bull shit,” said Kevin. “Do you think I would want to take as wife, some second hand stuff?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Knowing the sexual disposition of my dad, I am sure by now he must have fucked her many times,” said Kevin and added:
“I will tell you what; I will pack my things tonight and leave this wretched house and go away somewhere, before dad arrives with that woman. Will you come with me?”

“What? All so quickly? Where will you go and what will you do for your stay and food?” I spoke in confusion. My head was reeling.
Kevin came near me and put his arms around my neck. His embrace was electrifying and I hugged him instantaneously.
“Are you sure Kevin that we can get away together to some far off place? Your father will complain to the police and trace the car, would they not?” I asked, rubbing his back with both my hands.

“Only if we go by the car,” said Kevin. “I have a different plan. I will take the car to the garage tomorrow and ask the owner to sell it for us, citing what dad had told us in one of his earlier letters. I will ask the owner of the garage to give me some money in advance, saying dad had asked me to borrow, which he can later deduct when the car is sold. You can go to the bank and draw all the money you have, as the account has now been changed to your name. We will then take a plane and go off somewhere, before my father arrives. What do you say?”

It was a good plan. I too did not want to face Dan when he returned. Much less, his Mexican ‘keep’. And to think of living with them all in the same house -- that was impossible!
Kevin and I frantically began to pack all our things. It was then that Kevin found the parcel that was given to him at the hospital where his father—one, whom Kevin supposed to be his real father—died. Kevin opened the brown paper and found inside two old pants, two shits, a leather belt and a small leather bag. He opened the bag and found inside it a pocket-watch in a silver case, on the back of which was inscribed ‘From Derrick, with love.’ Along with the watch was an envelope. On it was written in bold letters: ‘To Kevin, to be opened on my death.’

I wanted Kevin to open it and see. I said that after all, the nurse who gave the packet to him might be right and there may be a ‘will’ inside! But Kevin said that there was no time to look into it just then. There was much work to be done and done fast. He said:
“Who knows, dad and his brat might even arrive before we could leave. Hopefully, they will not—they should not!”

So saying, he put away the envelope in his hand luggage. Then we packed one suitcase with my clothes and that of Kevin’s and another with some sheets, towels, small utensils, knives, forks, spoons and other items, which we might need to start life anew. It was very late in the night, when we went to sleep. As we used to do in days past, we slept in each others arms, naked.

We woke up early the next morning and got ready ourselves and our luggage. Then Kevin put his bicycle inside the car with some difficulty and drove away to the garage. He said he would return riding his cycle. He then asked me to take my bike and go to the bank and draw all the money that there was, leaving only a small amount behind, in order not to attract any suspicion. I did my job pretty quickly and returned home. I had to wait a long time for Kevin to return. When he came, he brought a lot of money—more than we needed for our flight tickets! We prepared a note for Kevin’s father and left the note and the key of the front door, in the letter box. I switched on the front light, so that it may give the appearance to others in the neighborhood that someone was in the house. Then we cycled to the airport with our baggage on the rear seats. We checked in our cycles too when we bought our tickets to New York.

When the plane took off, we gave a sigh of relief. I wondered what Dan would do when he saw that we had run away on him. Will he be angry, sad or happy? It was anyone’s guess. Just then, Kevin took out the envelope from his hand luggage. He opened it and found a two page letter inside. There was no ‘will’, as I had supposed! Kevin started reading it and when he finished, gave it to me. His gaze was not on me, but he was staring vacantly at the roof of the plane. His eyes were moist. I took the letter from his hand and started reading it. It was written in black ink with a shaky hand. There was no date and it ran as follows:

My Dear Kevin,

I am writing this to tell you a secret in your birth. You are not really my son, though you had till now believed me to be your father. My cousin Derrick is your real father. You are too young for me to explain everything. But do not think ill of your mother. She was an angel. As a drunkard, I could not satisfy her sexually. I should not have married her, in the first place. But she loved me sincerely and so did I.

My cousin Derrick, who is no more— he died as a martyr for our country in Vietnam, fighting the native guerillas. Before his death, he had visited us. Your mother and I had just got married then. And because of my imbecility, she was a virgin.
In our younger days, when Derrick and I grew up together, I had started this bad habit of taking drugs. Derrick had warned me several times that my habit may make me impotent. He and his friends used to joke and say that if I ever got married, it would be one of them who would make my wife pregnant! But I used to say that I would marry a girl who will love me truly and even when I did not give her sexual pleasure, yet she will be faithful to me! This was the foolish thinking of many young men who believe that women are devoid of the same feeling, which men possess.

One day, the joke took a serious turn when Derrick swore to me that if ever I got married, he would visit us and impregnate my wife!.

I challenged him over this and we both forgot about it. This took place many years before I took up my job in the store where I met Maria, your mother and Derrick joined the US army.

When I got married to your mother, I sincerely hoped that I would be able to sleep with her and sexually satisfy her. But, the cursed drinking habit of mine, nullified my hopes. Even when Derrick came and stayed with us and gave me the army drinks, I did not really believe that he would remember my challenge. For all the days he stayed with us, not once did I notice him, making advances to Maria. Even when Maria asked me to tell him to go away, I did not suspect anything. It was on the day Derrick took leave of us that I noticed a gesture of his that made me suspect that something was fishy. He tapped his crotch as he watched Maria, and as if talking to me holding up an empty bottle of whisky, said that he would bring “lots more of the stuff, when he came again.” When Maria blushed, I knew that there had been some secret things going on between them. It was confirmed when Maria became pregnant and said that it was by me. Though I definitely knew that I could not perform the sex act, I pretended to believe her. It is true that I felt angry in my heart that she was not the ideal wife, I had dreamed about. So, Derrick won in his challenge and I lost. But he did not live to enjoy his victory. He died in a few months after you were conceived. Do not think ill of your mother. Poor girl, her dreams were all shattered. She believed till the end that I did not know anything about her secret

So, when you were born, I made her believe that I thought of myself as the father of the child. After all, Derrick was my uncle’s son and we both resembled each other to a great extent. So, no one suspected anything. I did not want anyone else to know, either. But with my bad habit, I could not earn enough to feed my wife and child, adequately. Maria took up a job. But often, when I ran out of money, I was compelled to ask money from her earnings, for my drugs and drinks. I knew I was making her life miserable and that of the child. Taking into consideration your proper upbringing and education, I wanted Maria to somehow get another man into her life. But she was such a good woman, that she never let anyone approach her. It was then that your father (I forget his name), took both of you into his house. I came to check on the true intentions of your father—whether he wanted to use Maria as a whore and throw her out, after he was sexually gratified. But your father seemed to be a good man. So, I knew that you both would be happy and safe under his care. Further, when he gave me a lot of money and asked me never to come again to his house, I wanted to obey him out of respect.

The rest of my story, you know. I need to thank you for helping me with money for my treatment and for bringing me food items at the hospital and taking care of my petty needs. Perhaps, if I had told you that I was not your real father, it is doubtful whether you would have cared for me the way you did. As a parting advice from your father—no, no-- your foster father—I want to tell you to keep away from alcohol, even a little of it. I need not tell you about drugs. They say, many a youngster these days are given to drugs. But Kevin, keep yourself away from it. Love your father—the one who is taking care of you now—as he loves you. And be proud that you are the son of a gallant soldier who died fighting for his country.

Farewell, and God Bless you.
The letter was signed: ‘yours affectionately, Ivan’.
I handed back the letter to Kevin and said:
“You are a golden man, Kevin.”

Kevin wiped his eyes and said: “It is this man who is golden. The world knew him only as a drug addict and a drunkard. No one would have guessed that there was a human heart inside him. I think I will continue to treat him as my father.”
The airhostess came asking what we would want to drink. We both opted for coke. As we sipped our drink, I asked Kevin whether he really loved his father more or his mother, now that he knew the truth. Kevin did not reply for a few seconds. Then he said:
“I think my Father would have wanted me to love both.”

“Which father?” I asked. He did not reply to that either. Instead, he put down his coke on the food tray, bent down and pulled out a small Bible from his hand-luggage, which he had kept under the seat. He turned the pages and showed me a verse. It was from The Gospel according to Saint Matthew, chapter 23, verse 9. It read as follows:

“Do not call anyone on earth your father, for one is your Father, He who is in heaven.”
The story ends here. But I wish to add an epilogue.

[EPILOGUE]

Kevin and I landed in New York and with the money in our hands, hired a single room, right on the roof of a multistory building. Kevin soon found a job in a garage and decided to educate me. I qualified to become a mechanic and landed in a good job, in a big company.
As I write this story in 1990, Kevin now has crossed the age of forty, while I am approaching it fast. Neither of us married. Though we own a two bedroom flat in the outskirts of the town, we still sleep in the same room, on a king-size double cot.
Kevin was much troubled in his mind about the terrorist activities all over the world. With threats of severe destruction to The United States of America too, Kevin wanted to do something for his country. So, he took special training and is now a Government Secret Agent, who gives information about the activities of the youngsters from Asia, who have migrated to the USA.

We are a happy couple--my brother and I. THE END!