Love At Its Finest (Continued)

The scene that transpired in my neighbors front yard was something right out of Hollywood. Not just because I tackled James to the ground and hit him, but the reasons why I did it. James, was a person who I hoped could someday love me. Jared, was a person who infact did love me, and said so many, many times. 

When I saw these two people locked in an embrace, I lost my mother fucking mind. PERIOD! - Be it a jealous rage, temporary insanity, or whatever? All I know is, at that instant I saw a flash of light go off inside of my head. It was so bright, that it lit up even the darkest corners of my consciousness. The places where I hid what was real in lieu of this fantasy world that my love for James had me living in.

It's a strange sensation when you realize that you've become so masterful at hiding the truth from the rest of the world, that you've hidden a lot of it from yourself. I had been in love with Jared since shortly after we met. Yet some how, I had hidden this fact from Jared, the world, and myself. But there is no way that I could deny it now. I do love him, and I thought it was about time that he should know it. 

I put James out of my mind, and never let go of Jared's hand all of the way to my bedroom. We had hours of time before anyone was due home, so I guided him into the house, and back to my bedroom. We stripped and walked naked to the shower at the end of the hall.

This time, it was the real thing. I became a little sad when I thought about what I must have put Jared through over the past year. How he allowed me to use him for what I wasn't gettiing from James. I don't think I could have done the same thing if the roles where reversed. But that was all behind me now, all I had to do was to make Jared see that. But of course, with Jared being Jared, he put me before himself and told me that he'd help me patch things up with James. I couldn't believe my ears.

"No Jared! - Is that what you want? - Just to hand me over to James? I thought that you loved me!" I said.

"I do love you Alex! - Why would you ever need ask that?" Jared said.

"Then love me Jared! Love me and don't worry about James! - He has noting to do with us." I said.

"Us?" Jared said as a smile kept across his face.

"Yeah, us." I said, and smiled back.

Jared pinned me against the shower wall, and lightly bit my lower lip. He was making me become more alive and sexually aroused then I have ever been. I could feel my legs shaking, and was certain that being pinned against the shower wall was the only thing that kept me from falling to the floor. I wanted to feel Jared slide his tongue into my mouth, and make our first kiss memorable.

"Come on!" I whispered. That's all that I could say and it was like he was reading my mind. 

Jared's tongue gently entered my mouth, and I felt his hands reach around my waist. He did everything so slow and so perfectly. We weren't even 3 minutes into the shower and he had me falling just as quickly as I knew he would. This is definitely the reason that I refrained from kissing Jared. I knew that he would draw me completely into him, he is so seductive. 

I put my mouth right next to his ear so he'd hear me over the ambient noise of the shower. I wrapped my arms completely around him and pulled him tightly towards me.

"I love you Jared" I said.

Jared immediately started to plant little kisses down my body as he lowered himself to his knees. I could tell that he was crying and I just let him cry because I knew that he was so happy. There was no way that I was going to rob him of his happy tears. I was robbed once of happy tears and I have never forgotten it. It is not often that we experience that magnitude of happiness, to interrupt it is so un-necessary.

That's how I felt, a week before my 11th birthday, when I returned home from summer camp to find that my dad had built me the coolest treehouse. It was not some ordinary treehouse, I saw a picture of one in a magazine and before I left for camp, I stuck the picture to the fridge. After 4 weeks at camp, I had forgotten all about the picture, the treehouse, and my birthday for that matter. 

When I came home from camp and saw the treehouse. I was in shock and just stood there with my mouth hanging open. It was exactly like the treehouse in the picture, even better. It was the coolest thing that I had ever seen, and I couldn't believe that it was all mine. Tears began to run down my face as I looked up at the giant treehouse. 

I hugged my mom and my dad with tears in my eyes, and it was the first time that I ever cried without any physical pain being present. My mom got tears too because she had never seen me so happy. But I will never forget what my dad had to say about my happiness.

"Stop crying son! - Happy tears are for queers and girls." He said.

I stopped immediately, and the joy I was feeling just blew away like a fart on a windy day. I was ashamed that I had cried because I was happy. But once my dad went back into the house, the warm feeling over my treehouse came right back to me. I just didn't understand why I couldn't share my happiness openly. I do understand now thought. It's pretty much the same reason that Jared and I can't show our love and affection for each other openly.

"Maybe Pop was right? - Happy tears are for queers. I just didn't think of Jared and I as queer. We where just in love, that's all."

Jared and I got out of the shower, and headed right back to me bedroom. He gently layed me down on the bed. We hugged and kissed completely naked. It was so exciting to feel Jared run his hands up and down the back of my naked body. It was as if I was giving him control. I was naked and exposed, and Jared could do with me as he wished.

Jared and I made love so many times over that weekend. For the first time ever, I was in love as well as in a relationship. On Sunday afternoon, I left Jared's house and went home. Sleeping alone suck's once you've slept with someone you love. 

James didn't come to mind until Monday morning. I was wondering what was going to happen and figured that I'd know sooner or later. It turned out to be sooner, because when I opened my front door to leave, James was in my driveway leaning against the hood of my car. I wasn't sure what to say so I opted to just pretend that everything was normal. It's what I had become very good at over the years.

Just like usual, James got in the passenger seat and we pulled out of my driveway. We didn't even make it to the end of the street before I said that I was sorry for what had happened. James shocked me with his reply.

"It's okay - You're little lover came to my house last night and explained everything." James said.

" He did?" I asked.

"He told me that you didn't mean beat me up." James said with a giggle. "Oh my God! Alex - it was so funny! Can you imagine that? - You beating me up?" James said.

"James, I don't know what to say. You know I would never hurt you, but I just freaked out." I said.

"Don't worry about that, worry about keeping you and Jared a secret." James said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you guy's had better wise up, and save the lovey-dovie shit for after school. Jesus Christ Alex!- You where giving the dude a fuckin shoulder rub at his locker last week. Are you fuckin crazy?" James said.

"When you're in love with another guy James, you forget that you don't have the luxury given to those who love the opposit sex." I said.

"So - What do you and Jared do all weekend? - Are you still a virgin?" James said. 

I could see him looking at me waiting for an answer. I slowly begin to move my head left and right until it was obvious that I was "no" that I was signaling.

"You slut! - Like in the butt, and did it hurt?" James said. 

"Well....by the 5th time, it was really getting to feel pretty good." I said.

"The 5th time! - Jesus Christ! - My best friend is a nymphomaniac." James said.