Rest in Peace Paul Grady 1

Chapter 1: Justifying the end

The food at Chenobil's was cold, the brandy cheap and the service vulgar. But no one went to Chenobil's for the food or the Brandy or the service, they went for the dull Sodom and Gomorrah like immorality Chenobil's had become notorious for. It was the eve of 2012 and I had nothing to celebrate, the year had been a miserable waste and the best part about it was that it was drawing to an end.

I found myself at the edge of the bar in chenobil's, drinking bootleg brandy and coke while munching away carelessly at some free nuts which were too salty with a taste of cigarette ash.

The entrance at Chenobil's gave you a true reflection of what you would find inside, if you took the time to look around before getting in. There was always a trash can tipped over on its side a few feet away from the entrance. At the top of two large rotting wooden doors was the sign CHENOBIL'S. It was illuminated in a blue light but because some of the lights had burnt out, it read -HEN-BIL'S.

At the bottom of the large rotting wooden doors was a worn out rubber matt with the faint traces of the word "welcome". When you entered the pub you were underwhelmed by the bare foyer and the square table which was only used on friday nights when the pub was turned into a club and they had a cover charge of $2 from 9pm to 2am. There were five or six round tables scantily placed around the pub and to the right stood a small bar that sat only 4 people at a time. You could see the whole pub in one panoramic view from the entrance.

"Are you happy now?" The image of these words written on an A4 sized paper flashed before my eyes over and over again as I replayed the events that I had planned so perfectly in my mind but which had ended in disaster. How could things have gone so completely wrong and out-of-control so quickly. I pieced all the information together, re-traced the sequence of events and started all over again but still, nothing. It all didn't make sense...

*** 2009

I felt a familiar excitement welling inside me in anticipation of the sleep-over I had planned with Paul Grady. Paul and I had been friends since our first day at Rock Haven High school. I had entered the toilets at the start of the mid-day break to freshen up. I always carried a hair brush, hair spray, hand-lotion and cologne in my bag. I considered myself a lady and that I should always look sharp whatever the circumstance.

While standing before the full length mirror in the boys toilet, I could not help but appreciate my own perfection. I gently brushed the sides of my short brown hair as the wavy top was already frozen in place by the can of hair spray I emptied on it back at home. I was ghostly white in complexion and this had gotten me a few names in primary school, from Vampire boy to Timmy the Ghost.

It was only now that I started to appreciate the perfection of my spotless porcelain skin. The only trace that I was in fact human was the natural pink blush on my cheeks. I was average height but slim and fit. The navy blue formal chino's I wore that day accentuated my bubble butt and the slim fit white shirt made the whole look more chic. As I brushed the back of my head, The door swung open and three junior boys entered the boys room.

"Oh what do we have here guys?" A guy whose name I later learned was Trevor asked looking to his friends for a reaction. "A fucking queer!" Bradley hissed, a fat and unpleasant ginger who never brought money or lunch to school because he knew some poor kid would give up his when he demanded it. "What are we going to do about this boys?" Frank asked knowingly, coming in last.

Before I could turn around bitchyly and respond to an encounter I had imagined would happen at some point at this new school, I hadn't imagined so soon though. Bradley gripped the back of my head firmly and shaved my face into the mirror. The mirror did not crack as it was mounted to the wall but my nose broke on impact and blood started oozing out. I rested my forehead still on the mirror as the three boys laughed and left together, bumping into Paul Grady on their way out.

"Are... You... Ok?" Paul asked, in an uncertain tone. I turned around to reveal a white shirt drenched in crimson red blood, my nose was still leaking like a tap. I felt weak and dizzy. "Oh My God!" Paul rushed to me, guiding me to the taps where he opened some warm water and instructed me to hold some against my nose. "They did it didn't they?". He was angry and determined, as he walked out the boys room "they won't get away with this" he declared.
"No, let them g..." I said faintly, but Paul was already out the door. I tried to stand upright and immediately everything became blurry and suddenly went black.

"Mr O'Donovan, can you hear me?" I heard a distant voice gently calling me as I squinted my eyes at the bright light the young doctor shone in the eyes. I only spent the day in the hospital and was released by night fall. When I got home, my mother told me of how Paul Grady had gotten into a fight with Bradley Benson. Paul had receive a weeks suspension from school and the other three boys got 2 weeks each. To me it was a slap on the wrist which I was quickly growing indignant over. I failed to see how such violent bullying could afford the three boys 2 weeks away from school as some sort of punishment. My mind however was focused on Paul and his welfare. My mom assured me that he was fine and that she would go and plead his case the following day.

Now in our final year of high school, Paul and I had became the best of friends. Throughout high school Paul had been my defender. He was much more masculine than I was unsurprising, years of professional swimming and lacrosse had chiseled him into a god. His brush cut blonde hair and emerald green eyes were hypnotizing to anyone who wasn't ashamed to admit the truth. Girls always flocked around him but he was faithful to his one girlfriend Amber who I found very difficult to hate because she was nice, friendly and beautiful as well.

Although I had appreciated Paul always coming to my rescue in the face of relentless bullying, It hurt me that he would always defend me by saying that I wasn't gay and that dressing well didn't make someone gay. He was almost homophobic in the way he insisted that I could not be gay. I just played along so as not to lose him, I loved him helplessly.