Retrospective: Part 1 from 2

“I want to feel you, to taste you, have you in my mouth, make love to you if you’d let me, I wanna hold your hand, kiss you, hold you in my arms, not the meaningless shit I thought would satisfy me. I want you Sam.” My mouth hung open as he confessed his feeling, he wore his heart on his sleeve, for me to either take or break. “I’m sorry Sam, but I think I just might even love you.” My jaw hit the floor as he spoke softly the words which made my heart feel like it was going to burst. “Don’t ever say that again Dyl.” Dylan looked more upset than I had ever seen him. “Don’t say you’re sorry, don’t be sorry.” I sprung forward and kissed him, years of desire being unleashed on his perfect pink lips. He lay motionless, in shock I suppose. It didn’t stop me from kissing him like I had wanted to for all these years, biting his bottom lip and sucking the top one.

He pulled away and gave him a chance to react. He took a deep breath. He opened his eyes for a moment he looked like a little boy who had lost his parents in the supermarket, frightened, panicking, terrified, but then that all changed, he smiled like never before, he seemed overwhelmed with happiness and relief. I had the old Dylan back, the mischievous, sly look in his eye had gone, he looked happy now. He had changed just like that. “I’m glad we did this.” I said quietly, I spoke softly and gently without even meaning to. “I didn’t know we were finished.” Dylan said with clear intent in his voice. He flipped me of him so I landed on my back. Quickly he rolled over and kissed my neck before moving south. He positioned his lips directly above my still hard cock, before I had time to protest (not that I wanted to) I felt his lips spread over the throbbing head of my cock, I felt a whole new sensation, it was like nothing I had ever experienced. His warm, wet mouth engulfed my cock in seconds. I watched in awe as his head slid down my cock and his face buried itself in my hairy crotch, the heat of his mouth was overwhelming.

The tightness of his throat as he deepthroated me pushed me over the edge instantly. I grunted as I placed my hands on his head, gently running my hands through his soft hair. I spilt my cum into his hungry mouth, his moans were muffled I filled his mouth with my thick, white juices. “Arrgggh fuck Dyl.” He just kept sucking furiously, like he was milking me for all I was worth. I felt my cock begin to go limp once he had sucked me dry. I gasped for air as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes sparkled with excitement as he looked up at me, awaiting what would come next. I looked down at him. “Thank you.” I uttered between my shallow breaths. “My pleasure, I’ve had you in my hand, and now in my mouth, I only have one more place for you to go, but I think its the best, you’ll like it there, so much you wont wanna leave.” Dylan said cheekily, clearly voicing his need for me to make love to him. “You’re serious.” I said both to him and myself in shock.

Part of me couldn’t believe this was all happening. I looked above his head at his clock, “Twelve O’clock.” Dylan turned his head to the clock before looking back at me. “And?” “I’m supposed to mow my neighbour’s lawn, I do it every Saturday you know that.” I regretted having to leave Dyl, especially now, but I didn’t want to let down Mrs Murdock. Dylan rolled onto his back and threw his head back so I could see his face. “But I don’t want you to leave me all alone.” He put on a childish accent and widened his eyes, he puffed out his bottom lip and tried to look cute, it didn’t take much effort for him really. I leaned forward and kissed him on the head. Then quickly on the lips. “I’m sorry…. Babe.” He smiled when I said babe. “I’ll see you later?” He thought about it for a second then answered me, “Meet me here at about seven?” “Sure thing, but why seven?” I asked, intrigued as to what he had planned. “I’ve got some shit I need to do first.” He replied casually, the manipulative Dylan beginning to show through the cracks, I settled down again trying not to sound curious towards his behaviour. “Like?” I persisted. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

He snapped back. I put on my clothes and we watched me as I did. “I guess I’ll see you later then.” I was about to walk out of the room when he pulled be back by the waist, he pulled me towards him and kissed me on the corner of the mouth. “I’ll see you out” He pulled on a pair of boxers and followed me downstairs, he opened the door and looked around quickly before kissing me goodbye. I began walking away when something caught my eye, I turned quickly to the right but saw nothing, must have been my imagination I thought to myself. I turned back to Dylan’s house but the door was closed and he was nowhere to be seen. I turned to the left now and was startled, about a metre away from me stood Mr Jenkins. I nodded nervously to him but he showed no signs of having acknowledged my pleasantry. I darted past him and started jogging towards Mrs Murdock’s house, I arrived in about five minutes, I knocked the door and heard her shout to come in, “Sorry I’m late Mrs M. I got, ehh, held up.” I closed the front door and looked around, her home was surprisingly modern, but with old fashioned touches, a bible sat by the front door and there was a cross on the wall.

I made my way to the kitchen where she was preparing some sort of food. “Not to worry dear, would you like a drink?” Mrs M smiled at me kindly. “No thank you, I’ll just get to work.” I stepped around the kind old woman and began to mow her grass, it was still hot and I was sweating by the time I was halfway through the back garden. I pulled of my top and threw it over my shoulder. I stopped for a second to catch my breath before I continued the job, when I had finished the back lawn Mrs M called me inside. “What’s the matter?” I asked feeling concerned. “Nothing at all dear, sit down.” I sat down, confused at her sudden change in behaviour. “You don’t seem yourself today Sam, is everything alright?” I had probably seemed a little strange, eager to get straight to work, not wanting to speak, I guess I was just confused over the whole Dylan situation, but obviously I couldn’t tell Mrs Murdock that, she’s religious, and gay is wrong in the eyes of religion. “Nothings wrong.” I stated unconvincingly. “Are you familiar with the ten commandments Sam?” I didn’t like where this was going. “I guess so, why Mrs..” She cut me off before I could finish. “Please Sam, call me Sharon.

Then you’ll know it is a sin to lie.” I knew I wasn’t going to be able to lie to her, it was no use. “Well Mrs… Sharon, I guess I’m just going through a difficult time right now, everything just seems messed up right now.” Sharon watched me closely as I spoke, waiting for my confession. She sat opposite me at the small table, her hands placed flat on the table. Her eyes focussed on me behind her silver framed glasses. “Tell me what it is honey.” She spoke reassuringly. She placed her hand on my wrist and rubbed it gently. “It’s complicated, I’ve done things I shouldn’t have, with people, oh I don’t know.” I continued to feel her rubbing my wrist comfortingly. “Go on dear.” I struggled to hold myself together, everything around me seemed to disappear, all I could focus on was myself. “I tried, well you know, stuff with my friend Dylan. And I know it was wrong in all sorts of ways but I just couldn’t resist it.” I started to sob, anticipating Sharon’s next action, expecting her to kick me out of her home, her life based on religion, mine on sin. “Could you pass me that TV guide honey?” I looked up at her confused, only for her to nod in my direction slightly behind me.

I turned and picked up a small magazine sat behind me and looked at it, expecting to see something relevant to my problems, but I saw nothing, only the latest TV storylines. I handed her the magazine and wiped my eyes. “This book dear, tells me all the programmes on tv this week.” I listened intently, I had endless questions but didn’t want to interrupt the seemingly wise old woman. “They publish a new one each week, because times change dear, new programmes come out, and that makes the old magazine go out of date. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I shook my head, my eyes still watering. She nodded briefly before reaching into her handbag which sat on the floor next to where she was sitting, from it she pulled out yet another bible. “This is another book, a different book from that one.” She said nodding to the tv magazine which now lay idly on the table. “This book says do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman. That is detestable.” She paused and looked at me, signalling she wanted some sort of reaction. “That means it’s wrong for two men to have sex right?” A solemn look spread across Sharon’s face. “Yes honey.”

She said coldly. “But the problem with this book is they don’t make a new one each week, and I think this one’s a little out of date, and the things it says, just don’t make sense today.” I felt a faint glimpse of hope start to arise within me, starting to realize where she was going with this. I smiled for the first time, “Thanks Sharon.” She had given me a new view on the situation, things weren’t as bad as I thought. Suddenly the kitchen door opened and Joey walked into the kitchen. “Hey grandma.” He said kindly. “Sam.” He said to me sharply, he didn’t seem surprised to see me here. “Hello Joey, you know Sam I see.” Joey shot a quick glance in my direction before speaking. “Yeah we go to school together.” His voice seemed different today, usually he would sound upbeat and excited when we spoke, but now his voice seemed robotic and cold. “I should get going, thanks for the talk, Mrs M.” I said nervously, I felt uncomfortable being in the room with Joey. “Anytime Sam” She said politely as she showed me out. Once I was outside a sense of relief washed over me, I wasn’t sure what was wrong with Joey today but honestly I didn’t really care too much.

I walked along the sidewalk towards my own house but stopped when I heard Sharon’s door slam shut again, I turned suddenly but wished I hadn’t. Joey was storming away from the house with his fists clenched, he looked angry, I was about too ask him what was wrong but he walked in the opposite direction from where I was standing and he was gone before I had the chance to speak.

I shrugged my shoulders and walked into my house. “Hey mum, dad I’m back.” I leaned my head back against the door and smiled, nothing could go wrong, nothing at all.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the story, the whole point of this story for me was to do something a little different than normal. I decided to mix things up a little and base this story on suspense but still try to make sure there’s romance in there. So, feel free to guess who the killer is and let me know who you think did it!