Posted by h choose a piont of view man..
Posted by d_201 Great story, but H has a "point." Get one point of view and stick with it. shifting from first person to third person was confusing.
Posted by Mike that made me horny as hell! I had to jack off to it!
Posted by Tim Fuck i couldnt stop myself from beating off. If only my mates were like that
Posted by Nathan WOW, I'm 15 and I thought I was gay before I read this story, now i know I'm gay. Thank you for this amazing story and please, please, please make a sequal!
Posted by Gabriel The story is so HOT! Unforetunately the writing couldnt be better.
Posted by feankie ºÇºÇ~ ¿´²»¶® ÎÒÔÎ~~~~~~~~~~
hehe
Posted by rye Be careful on third to first person changes they exist here. Also watch for spelling errors, (ex. 'meh' for me), the easiest way to eliminate this is through Microsoft word (if the situation permits) and lastly watch for your diction as this defines the character when you’re telling a story from first person. As well you can use this to your advantage for sealing the deal on his thoughts or feelings. Within the story markers exist to state that the character believes that he's straight, however, words show that he has 'previous' experience or is /not/ straight.
Posted by Lost Love I liked this story a lot. Its sweet.
I have to warn you, talking about cock sucking and ass fucking really makes me horny. I've got a nice piece of meat
between my legs, one I think you would enjoy seeing, so I know you won't be offended if at some heated moment I take it out and jack off...
