Shadow : Part 2

Nathan had a moment of reticence. Usually during the fall and winter months, when it was dark before his work shift ended, Blake would usually pick Nathan up. Blake also did the same on Monday nights when Nathan got out of his creative writing class. He did not know if Blake still planned on picking him up that evening. Nathan could not imagine Blake being so bitter that he would not.

“Yeah…that’s fine,” Nathan ultimately said.

“Good,” Russell sedately replied. “Guess I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah. See you later.”

Nathan unlocked the passenger door. He wanted to say something before he left, but the words would not form in his mind. As Nathan was getting out of the car, he heard Russell say, “I miss you.” It was like a soft whisper in his ear, almost inaudible. Nathan’s heartbeat surged with unexpected joy. He turned back around at Russell. “Yeah, me too,” he said softly.

“Huh?” Russell asked.

And then Nathan understood. Of course Russell would not have openly admitted something like that. He had thought it and Nathan just managed to hear it. He knew he was not being delusional. “Nothing,” Nathan said. “Never mind. See you at six.”
Nathan climbed out of the car. He waited until Russell started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, until his car turned a corner and was no longer visible on the road, before he trudged back to work, his head filled with a variety of hopes and doubts.

Chapter Five

The mistake

“You still mad at Nate?” Justin asked.

Blake responded with a fiery glare and freezing silence.

“Guess that means ‘yeah’.” Justin opened the car door and hopped out. “Stop acting like it’s the end of the fucking world or something. You’ll live. See you later.”
Blake nodded. “Peace.”

As soon as Justin closed the passenger door, Blake peeled out of the Anderson’s Supermarket parking lot, causing nervous glances in his direction from customers walking to and from the store. Justin rolled his eyes and headed into the store.

Why the hell is he making such a big deal outta of this shit? Justin wondered. This is what I get for having gay roommates, Justin thought. I always have to deal with their drama.

A year and a half ago, before moving in with Nathan and Blake, Justin lived with his cousin, Jasmine, over in a seedy, violent neighborhood in East Oakland, in a nearly dilapidated apartment building. When not having to deal with the constant frightening sounds of gunshots and blaring ambulance sirens every single night, as he tried to sleep, Justin had to deal with his cousin’s nine month-year old baby, Kaia, who never stopped crying—especially at three o’clock in the morning.

Furthermore, it did not help that the baby’s father, and Jasmine’s on-again off-again boyfriend, Solomon, who popped over the apartment at any and all times of the day or night. Too often, Justin had to deal with hearing their deafening, unrelenting arguing and also their obnoxious make-up sex sessions. Justin could only endure six months before knowing that he had to leave.

Living with Blake and Nathan was a definite improvement. Justin did not have to worry about bringing guys over to the apartment—not that he had very many to bring over in the first place—and living in the tranquil, old-fashioned town of Alameda was much safer and serene than the harsh, concrete hell of Oakland.

With its small town-old fashioned vibe, clean streets, and for the most part, friendly citizens, the city of Alameda presented itself as a welcome antithesis to the majority of fast-paced cities in the Bay Area, or anywhere Justin could think of for that matter. It reminded him of a fictional television town at times, in its uniform desire for equanimity and almost lack of exciting things to do (in Justin’s opinion anyway). Still, it was nice living somewhere, where the most common crime was speeding five miles per hour over the speed limit.

Not having to hide his ‘ability’ from his roommates was another reason Justin liked living with Blake and Nathan. Because they shared similar capabilities, it made it a lot easier for Justin to be himself without fear of persecution.

Yet, Justin experienced a downside to living with two other young, gay males. Much like his cousin Jasmine and her live-in boyfriend, Justin had to constantly deal with Blake and Nathan’s relationship, or their persistent denial of a relationship.

When Justin first moved in to the vast, two-story, three-bedroom townhouse on Willow Street, he had been impressed by two things: the size of his bedroom was significantly bigger than his last…and Blake.

Blake definitely had the tall, dark, buff, and handsome working to his advantage. Yet he did not possess the common vapid, self-absorbed personality characteristics one would expect someone with his image to have. Blake was actually smart, straightforward, and thoughtful— a complete package.

It only took a few weeks of the three of them living together, for Justin to realize that Blake only had eyes for Nathan. While Nathan usually rejected Blake’s subtle and sometimes not so subtle romantic advances, it was clear he shared a similar attraction to Blake as well. They had an emotional and psychic bond that seemed unbreakable despite their sexual tension.

Justin sincerely believed that he could seduce Blake, even if it consisted of a relationship based solely only on sex.
But the last thing Justin wanted to do was create a lust triangle.
Besides, Justin was already romantically involved with someone: his cute and scruffy co-worker, Ryan Boss.

Justin’s shift started at three o’ clock in the afternoon, but when he punched in at the break room, he saw he was five minutes late. For him that was a personal best. On his way to the front of the store to the café, Justin scanned the aisles and the produce department where Ryan worked, hoping to see him, but he did not. He purposely avoided any customers looking like they wanted to ask him questions about the location of grocery items.

As he strolled to the café area, putting on his name badge, tightening his green apron around his waist, and adjusting the snug-fitting cap on his head, Justin tried to stay clear of the store manager, Alan, who had his back turned to him as talked to one of the checkout clerks. Almost as if sensing Justin’s presence, Alan stated, without even turning around: “Justin, you’re late again.”

“Only by a few minutes…”

Alan turned around, agitation igniting in his dark eyes. “That’s the second time this week. You should be a few minutes early, not a few minutes late.”

Justin flashed an exaggerated smile. “Good advice. I’ll remember that next time.”

Before Alan could retort, Justin walked off, rolling his eyes.
There were two people waiting in line, when Justin arrived at the small café station. Justin recognized one of them: a short, thin woman, named Sarah, with horribly-dyed blond hair and a perpetual scowl on her face, and a tall, very good-looking guy, presumably in his mid twenties, clothed in a nice black dress-shirt and tie, and slacks that showed the fact he had a lot to offer in the front and the back. With that sizable bulge, Justin wondered if the guy was even wearing underwear. Justin briefly locked eyes with the handsome customer. When the man smiled at him, Justin felt electricity in his veins.

His co-worker, Kelly Chan was behind the register, ringing up Sarah’s order. “Justin can you make her drink?” she asked, with an evident amount of annoyance in her high pitched voice. “She says you’re the only one that makes it right.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Justin. I was worried when I didn’t see you here. I didn’t know what I was going to do.” Sarah commented in her painfully irritating, nasally voice. Although she was giving him a compliment, she still managed to make it sound like an insult. Justin entered the work station, which was a little booth, barely able to fit him and Kelly, and walked over to the espresso machine to make the woman’s extra large, extra hot, six pump vanilla, three shot soy latte, with absolutely no foam.

People like her, whose whole lives revolved around and were sustained by coffee reminded Justin of why he hated his job. After she finished paying for her drink, Sarah scurried over to the opposite side of the coffee bar and stood at the counter, impatiently waiting as Justin finished her drink.

“You’re making it extra hot, right?” Sarah asked.

“Right,” Justin said, trying to keep his voice tone even.

“And you put three shots in there, right? You know I like three shots.”

Justin wanted to say: “Bitch, you ask me the same fuckin’ thing everyday for a year! Calm the fuck down!” Aloud, he replied, “Yep.” He hurried up and finished her drink, handing it over to her so she could leave.

After Sarah finally left, it was time for the sexy customer who had been waiting behind her to order. Justin heard the guy tell Kelly what he wanted. He had a smooth, deep voice that perfectly matched his suave, masculine appearance. Once again, their eyes met, a little bit longer this time, as he paid Kelly for the drink. The guy had this look in his eyes, as if he were attempting to penetrate right into Justin’s mind and his soul.

“Small white mocha,” Kelly announced, handing a cup over to Justin and breaking the moment.

The guy walked across the other side of the bar and waited for Justin to finish making his drink. Justin felt the guy’s intense stare on him the entire time and it filled him with nervous energy, something he was not used to when it came to men. Usually, he was the one making guys feel nervous.

Justin struggled to find something to say to the man, to alleviate some of the tension. “I haven’t seen you in here before…”
The guy smiled, with teeth more perfect than a Colgate model. “I’m new to this area,” he responded. That cool, creaminess to his voice sounded like audio sex to Justin’s ears. And his perfect face, with his smooth, honey-hued complexion, chiseled jaw, sexy full lips, and those hypnotic brown eyes all worked in symphony to create a stunning visage.

“Where are you from originally?” Justin asked, doing his best to sound casual.

“Oakland,” the guy answered with a little smirk. “I used to live in this area a while back. But I moved. I travel around a lot.”

Justin put the lid on the drink after filling the cup and handed it over to the handsome man. “For work?” he took a few seconds to admire how wonderfully the man fit in the shirt he wore. Justin could tell that he had very well-defined arms and pecs underneath it.

“Mostly,” the guy replied.

The guy took his cup. “Well, okay, Justin. I have to go now. But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

How did he know my name?

Then Justin remembered his nametag. Regardless, hearing his name come out of that man’s mouth made his day. He watched, completely enraptured, as the man walked past the sliding doors and out of the store. Justin stood there for about a minute, speechless and spellbound.

“Okay, Justin, he’s gone,” Kelly said interfering with the sexual fantasy Justin had started to imagine.

Justin sighed heavily. “Kelly, I got a question for you.”

“Huh?”

“Why was that dude hella hot?”

Kelly rolled her eyes while smiling. “Here we go again.”
Justin cleaned the milk foam off the espresso machine’s heating wand. “I just feel like he was really into me.”

Kelly shrugged. “You think that every boy that comes in here…but this time you might be right. You should ask him out if he come in again.”

“I don’t know about all that,” Justin stated. “I can be pretty bold sometimes, but I don’t think I should be asking out customers.”
But if he wants to ask me out I don’t think I will have a problem with that…

Justin recalled the guy saying that he was going to come in the next day. A rush of excitement went through his entire body. He then thought about Ryan and had a momentary twinge of guilt.
Four o’ clock rolled around, marking the end of Kelly’s shift. Justin would be working the next five hours alone. Kelly took off her cap and apron, tossing them into a small compartment below the register. “See you tomorrow,” she said.

Once Kelly left, Justin stood around, mostly bored, waiting for customers to come. The slowness of afternoon shifts irked him. He expected to have about fifteen additional customers between now and the time he clocked out at nine. Not that it was an entirely bad thing. It gave him the chance to stock up on supplies, purposelessly roam the store to chat with some of the other employees, and sneak in some time with Ryan in the backroom.

But where’s he at? It had been over an hour and Justin had not seen him.

Almost as if he knew he Justin was thinking about him, Ryan suddenly appeared from around a corner and stopped at Justin’s station. Justin’s heart skipped a beat and he broke out into a wide smile. No matter how many times Justin saw Ryan, his excitement level never depreciated, it only seemed to elevate with each day.

“Where’ve you been at?” Justin asked. “I’ve been looking around for you ever since I got here.”

Ryan grinned. “Around.”

He leaned over the counter and Justin could smell his scent, a slightly nice blend of Old Spice, oranges, and weed. “When do you go on break?”

Justin did not need to be psychic to know what was on Ryan’s mind. “In like an hour… I need to go to the storage room anyway to get some cups and other shit…maybe you should come with me.” He leaned closer to Ryan as well, almost so close that their lips touched. Ryan recoiled, scanning the surrounding area with his old-fashioned 7up bottle green eyes to see if anyone had seen them.

“Don’t worry,” Justin said. “Nobody saw anything.”

“I told you about that, Jay,” Ryan said, panic still stretched across his eyes. “You can’t do shit like that here. Just `cause it don’t look like people are watching doesn’t mean they’re not.”
Justin liked many about Ryan: his lean, but well-built six foot frame, his tattoos, big hands, and even bigger dick, and his generally laid-back persona. However, his fear that people would find out about their relationship, if Justin could even honestly call it that, was the thing Justin liked least about him. Most of Justin’s coworkers knew he was gay and they did not seem to have a problem with it. If anybody did have a problem with it, they never addressed it directly to Justin’s face.

Although Justin knew discretion in the workplace was necessary, Ryan’s need to be so secretive almost border lined on crazy.

“Fine,” Justin said, clearly upset. “Whatever, dude. I gotta go get some shit from the back.”
Before Ryan had the chance to respond, Justin pushed open the swinging door and strode out of his department and toward the storage room. An old lady asked him where the toothpaste was located and he told her, exasperated, “The toothpaste aisle.”

Justin kept walking without breaking stride, blasting past the two big black double doors and into the freezing, empty storage room that smelled like old cardboard boxes and dust.

Why the fuck do I even bother with dudes? Justin wondered. They’re all just a fuckin’ waste of time.

Boxes were piled up tall everywhere, on shelves and on the concrete ground, with all sorts of labels on them. Justin squeezed in between the narrow passageway in search of the coffee shipment that was supposed to have arrived that morning. He wanted to contain his agitation toward Ryan, but the more Justin thought about him, the more hurt he grew.

When Ryan first started working at Anderson’s Supermarket, five months before, Justin had been immediately enticed by him. Ryan had been a welcome change, at least aesthetically, from the rest of his middle-aged, balding and out of shape male coworkers. From the moment they met, Justin knew Ryan was on the DL. He could tell by the way Ryan looked at him, obviously interested, but trying desperately to fight it. More than a few times, Justin had caught Ryan staring at his ass, giving Justin all the validation he needed to pursue him.

Normally, Justin did not go after boys his own age; guys in their early twenties typically tended to be immature and only good for sex (if even that). Not since his high school years had Justin dedicated so much effort into chasing after a “straight” boy.
That old “I want you, but maybe this isn’t a good idea” game had been exhilarating in the beginning, but now the excitement was quickly diminishing; while he still had a strong attraction for Ryan, and perhaps even actual feelings for him, Justin was ready to stop playing games. He could only be patient with Ryan and his in the closet paranoia for not too much longer. If Ryan did not start having some balls pretty soon, Justin would have to cut him loose and find someone else.

Justin finally found the shipment boxes he had been searching for, atop a very tall shelf at the very back of the storage area. “Of course they would put this shit way up where nobody could reach it,” Justin muttered.

He did not want to risk scaling the tall shelf, falling and getting hurt. Justin checked his surroundings to make sure nobody was around. He could not have anyone see his actions.
With the exception of Blake, Nathan, and his mother, nobody knew of his telekinetic ability. He wanted to keep it that way. Rarely would he ever display his gift in public.

“Come down,” Justin whispered, focusing on a large box on the top shelf. It must not have been too heavy, because it slipped off the ledge easily, falling down with accelerating speed. Justin had to control it from crashing to the ground and littering the floor with all its contents.

“Slow down.” He imagined the box floating down slowly like a snowflake to the ground. The box complied with his mental suggestion. When it finally landed, it barely made a sound.
There were another three boxes Justin needed to get down. He concentrated on two smaller boxes and with another mental push, the boxes slid off the shelf.

“Justin?”

He had focused so much energy on getting the boxes down that he failed to realize that someone stood behind him, a few feet away.
Shit! Oh fuckin’ shit. Justin thought as he heard Ryan’s surprised voice.

The two boxes were suspended in the air, motionless, as if resting on an invisible platform. Justin turned around to face Ryan, entirely breaking his focus. The boxes plummeted to the ground, breaking open and spilling bags of coffee everywhere.
Ryan stared at the boxes and then at Justin with one of the most petrified looks Justin ever saw.

“What the fuck was that?” Ryan asked.

Chapter Six

The Temptation

Blake had another two hours before his Happy Hour bartending shift began. He figured the best way to occupy his time and get Nathan out of his mind, was a good workout. After he dropped Justin off, he had driven aimlessly around town for about twenty minutes, trying to rationalize his situation.

The more Blake thought about Nathan, the more disconcerted he became. He needed to expel his aggression through physical activity, and if it was not going to be sex, he would have to settle with the gym.

As Blake pulled into the Athletic club around three-thirty, it surprised him there were not that many other cars in the lot. Most weekday afternoons, he expected the gym to be packed with people just off of work. He parked a few stalls away from an old, beat-up looking Toyota.

Blake thought of Nathan as he changed into his workout clothes in the living room. Wonder if they already talked to each other yet.
The answer came back to him instantly. Yeah, I bet they have.
He knew this certainly. It reverberated in his whole being. The only thing he did not know was what exactly Nathan and Russell had spoken about.

Blake felt tempted to call Nathan and ask him, but Nathan most likely would not respond if he was still working. If their physical distance was not so far away from one another, Blake would have been able to reach out telepathically to Nathan—that’s if Nathan had not set up a mental block to keep Blake out of his mind.
Blake turned on his iPod, heading out the locker room and onto the main floor. Thankfully, as he deduced from his arrival, there were not too many people at the gym, which meant he had nearly personal access to the exercise equipment. He started with the treadmill, beginning at a slow pace. Blake turned the volume up to full blast to block out any distractions…mainly the ones in his brain.

From the corner of his eye, Blake noticed someone getting on the treadmill next to him. Before the row of treadmills was a wall of mirrors that allowed Blake to see his reflection, as well as the reflection of the young handsome guy next to him.
Blake had seen him only a few times at the gym that he could recall. They never spoke, although Blake got the distinct feeling that the guy always wanted to say something to him, but was waiting for Blake to make an initiative. That would not happen. The gym was Blake’s opportunity for alone time, an hour and a half a day where he could channel his frustrations and stress into something constructive and positive; not a place to find a date.

However, the guy was cute. He wore a sleeveless T-shirt that displayed his nicely toned arms and chest and running shorts that showed off his nicely sculpted quads and calves. His lips were slightly thin and his nose slightly crooked, which saved him from looking too pretty. He wore his black hair spiky on top and shaved on the sides and back. His eyes were almost jet black and emanated a certain coy sensuality. Blake could not decipher if the guy was Filipino or Latino. Either way, he was definitely sexy.