Shadow : Part 4

Chapter Ten : The Projection

Justin wished he had Blake and Nathan’s telepathic skills, although he could already decipher through Ryan’s troubled face expression what ran through his brain. Like him, Ryan must have been recalling the disturbing event that occurred not even a full hour prior.
“Are you okay?” Justin asked.
Ryan stared vacantly out the windshield. The radio, turned down low, played some rap song Justin had not heard in years.
“Huh?” Ryan said absent-mindedly.
“I asked if you were okay. The answer is clearly no.”

Ryan shifted his eyes away from the row of hulking cranes of the Oakland Port on the opposite side of the embankment. The cranes’ blinking red lights resembling eyes at the end of each side of the thin planks, and the metallic structures, gave them the appearance of massive, robotic dinosaurs.
Many people in Alameda referred to this little strip of the old Alameda Naval base, right next to the water overlooking the Port of Oakland as the “Dinos”. This area was usually populated at night with other cars, parked along the embankment. Tonight, Ryan’s car was the only visible vehicle in sight.

Justin and Ryan usually came to the Dinos to smoke weed, drink, have sex, or just relax and gaze at the smooth, black water, and watch the shapes of lonely seagulls fly through the night air. They came to this spot, typically two times a week because of its close proximity to their work. Ordinarily, Justin enjoyed the serenity of this place, the way it seemed so isolated from the rest of the world, when in reality, they were only a few blocks away from all the main roads. Tonight, however, the quiet and the darkness terrified Justin.
“What the fuck was that shit back there?” Ryan inquired.

The same question had been going through Justin’s head since they left.
“I don’t know,” Justin whispered.
“Yeah, you do."

Justin never heard Ryan use that sharp tone of voice with him before. He was always used to Ryan’s laid-back demeanor. “I swear on everything that I don’t know.”
“What about the storage room?” Ryan asked. “What was that about?”
“It’s kinda hard to explain.”
“Go ahead and do it anyway. I wanna know.”
Justin took a deep breath, wondering how he would even begin trying to verbalize any of this.
“Um, have you ever seen the movie, Carrie before?”

Ryan looked perplexed. “What the hell is that?”
“The girl who can move things with her mind? Killed hella people at her high school prom?” None of these things seemed to register in Ryan’s mind. “Well, anyway, that’s what I do.”
“You killed hella people at your prom?
“No…even though I kinda wanted to…I can move things by thinking about it.” Justin knew how ridiculous that sounded. The look on Ryan’s face confirmed it.
“So what you’re telling me is that you’re like one of those people off X-Men, or some shit? You’re like Professor X?” Ryan asked.
“More like Jean Grey.”

Ryan did not say anything for a minute. He reached behind him in the back seat and retrieved a small paper bag. He pulled out a pint of Hennessey, unscrewed the top, and took a long drink from it, before handing it over to Justin.
“People can’t do shit like that in real life,” Ryan said. It seemed like he was saying this more to himself than to Justin.
“Well, this is real life and I can do it.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. It just happens if I think about it. I've been able to do it since I was little.” Justin took a quick swig from Ryan’s bottle. The liquor tasted sweet and warm in his mouth, but burned going down his throat. He took another shot from the bottle and handed it back over to Ryan.

“I mean, did you learn it from somewhere or were born with it?”
“Both, I guess…” Justin replied. “Nate says everybody’s got some kind of mental power, but most people don’t know how to use it. Or they just don’t wanna use it. He would be the Professor X of the three of us, if you had to compare.”
“Your roommates can do the same thing, too?” Ryan asked, shocked.

Shit, Justin thought. Why did I even bring that up?
Nathan always warned Justin about telling people about their abilities and displaying them to others. He claimed it was safer for all three of them if few people as possible knew what they could do. Now, Justin had gone and completely shattered their anonymity. While Justin knew Ryan fairly well, Justin did not know if Ryan could be trusted, particularly with this sort of information. If Ryan told anyone at work, things would definitely go from bad to worse.
But really, who would believe him anyway?

Also, Ryan never came across as a person who would go and tell other people's secrets, especially when he had a secret of his own to protect.
“Nate and Blake are telepathic. Blake’s also a little bit telekinetic. I think Nate can do other stuff too, but I’m not too sure.”
After taking a long swig from the bottle, Ryan handed it back to Justin. “I don’t know what the hell any of those words mean. Break it down for me."
“Telepathic means you can read people’s minds and have conversations in your mind. But both of you have to be telepathic to do that last part. Telekinesis is what I have…I mean what I can do.”
“So you can’t read my mind?” Ryan asked.
“No.”
“How do I know you’re not lying?”
“`Cause I’m not. I wish I could , but I can’t.” Justin took the bottle out of Ryan’s hand and drank the last of the alcohol. He knew it would not be too much longer before his buzz set in.
“What was that black ghost thing?” Ryan asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen that before.”

Justin could tell that Ryan thought he was lying.
“I’m being honest with you right now, Ryan. I don’t know what the hell that was. I came home and it was already there. I wish you hadn’t come over and saw that…”
“Yeah, me too,” Ryan responded.
They sat together in silence for a long time.

***

It took a few minutes for Blake to remember everything. When he first saw Nathan and Russell’s faces hovering above him, he gawked at them like a baby seeing the world for the first time. His mind was still in recovery mode, rebuilding pieces of what transpired before.
“He’s awake,” Russell said softly. Or maybe he had spoken softly. His voice sounded so muted, he may have not been speaking at all.
Blake realized he was lying in his bed in his bedroom. The ceiling light burned his eyes and when he opened his mouth to speak, his tongue felt glued to the bottom of his mouth.
Can you hear me? Nathan asked.

The sound of Nathan’s voice filled Blake’s brain. He was grateful to hear that sound. He nodded his head, wincing from the stiffness in his neck.
Nathan grabbed Blake’s hand. The numbness that overtook his body earlier still remained, though not as severe. Can you move?
Blake wanted to shake his head, but it was too agonizing to do so. Barely…feels like I’m paralyzed.
It should go away soon.
Nate, what the fuck was that?
Blake had never seen Nathan appear so petrified before. It was a Shadow…I’ll explain everything to you later.
You know about this thing?

Nathan nodded his head. His eyes were glossy, like he could cry at any moment. Like I said, I’ll explain everything to you later.
Why the fuck is Russell here, Nate?
Blake, just go to sleep, I’ll tell you everything. I promise.
I don’t want to go to sleep. I might not wake up.
You will wake up. Trust me.
That was the last thing Blake heard before drifting back into unconsciousness.

***

“You’re sure he’s gonna be okay?” Russell asked
They stood in the hallway, right outside Blake’s bedroom, with the door ajar so Nathan could look in. Nathan was so fixated on Blake, sleeping so serenely in his bed that it took him a while to hear Russell’s question.
“Yeah, he will be…he should be fine.” Even he had a challenging time fully convincing himself.
“And whatever that thing was, it attacked Drew, too?”
“Yeah,” Nathan replied sullenly.
“What the hell is it?”

Nathan could not answer that question without being reminded of his brother, Caleb. He forced the images of him out of his mind. “I call it a Shadow.”
“This happened to you before?”
Nathan’s eyes remained on Blake, instead of turning to see Russell’s questioning stare. He nodded.
"Yeah. My brother, Caleb can create Shadows. He used one to kill my mother."

Russell looked astonished, “You told me she died in a car accident."
"I told you she died in a 'crash'. Nothing about it was an accident."
"You never told me that."
“There’s a lot of stuff I never told you, Russell.”
“Obviously.”
“That’s not the kinda stuff you would want to know about.”
“Well, I guess I gotta know about it now, since it’s happening to me. Whether I want to or not. Tell me what this thing is, Nate. Is it a person? A ghost?”
“No,” Nathan responded. “It’s a projection.”

Russell was evidently and justifiably confused. “A projection of what?”
“Let’s go downstairs to the kitchen. I’ll tell you there.”
“I thought you wanted to look after him…in case he wakes up or something.”

Nathan took one last look at Blake before gently closing his door. “I’ll know if he needs me.”
Russell and Nathan headed downstairs into the kitchen. Nathan could still feel the residual imprint of energy leftover from the Shadow as they walked through the living room and into the kitchen. When they entered, they saw some of the cupboards were wide open and shards of glass littered the floor.
“Shit,” Russell whispered, “what the fuck happened in here?”

Nathan opened his mouth to reply when his phone rang. Justin, he immediately thought, even though the number on his caller ID did not match Justin’s. “Hello?”
“It’s me,” Justin answered. “My phone died. Using Ryan’s phone. Are you home?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Where are you?”
“Coming from the Dinos. Ryan is driving me home right now. Is it safe for me to come back?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.”
“You don’t sound too sure…”
“Justin, just come home as soon as you can. There’s stuff I need o talk to you about.”
“Ok…we’re only a few minutes away.”

Nathan said goodbye and hung up the phone. He closed his eyes, trying to calm down, trying to make sense of all the bizarreness of the last few days. When he opened his eyes, Russell was staring at him, still waiting for an explanation that he would probably not even understand.
Suddenly Nathan found himself wishing he and Russell never reconnected. It would have been better if he spent another year wanting to see Russell instead of actually being one-on-one with him in his home, under these unusual circumstances. Nathan wished he did as Blake asked him the night before: to ignore Russell’s phone call. In his imprudent decision to help Russell, he had put himself and his roommates into danger, whose magnitude still remained unknown.

“Are we gonna talk, or are you we just gonna look at each other all night?” Russell asked. “Tell me what this thing is and what it wanted with you and Drew.”
“It’s a physical projection of psychic energy,” Nathan said stiffly. “Depending on how strong the psychic capabilities of the person who creates it, it can be used for all sorts of reasons.”

Nathan could tell Russell had a hard time comprehending the information. “What kind of reasons?”
“Usually to get something out of someone’s mind or place something in their mind, or to do something they wouldn’t normally do.”
“I don’t get it. So this thing doesn’t kill you?”
“No…I mean…like I said, depending on how strong a person’s psychic abilities are they can use it for whatever purpose they want. A Shadow can’t directly kill someone, but it can create enough damage to indirectly cause someone’s death.”
“What do you mean by indirectly?”
“Psychosis. Suicide.”
“You’re sayin this thing could’ve made Drew commit suicide?”
“Well, I’m not saying that exactly,” Nathan responded. “But a Shadow can get into your head and make you think things you would’ve probably not have thought of before…bad things…or it can enhance whatever depression or negative feelings you already have in your head.”
“You didn’t really answer my question, Nate,” Russell sharply stated. “Do you think this thing came to my apartment last night all night?” Russell asked. “Tell me what this thing is and what it wanted with you and Drew.”
"I don’t know."

Russell did not believe Nathan divulged the whole truth. Nathan saw heavy accusations in his eyes. “How do you get rid of it."
"Usually three ways," Nathan replied. "The person who created it can rescind it. The second way is if the person affected by it has a moment of pure thought. The third way is to just transfer it to another person."
"What happens if it's transferred to another person?" Russell questioned.

Before Nathan had the chance to open his mouth to speak, he heard someone at the door. He peered out of the kitchen into the living room to see Justin entering the apartment. It was just the distraction Nathan needed.
“Justin, thank God you’re home.”

Justin sauntered toward the kitchen, his eyes scanning his surroundings. He looked like he expected something to pop out at him at any moment. Nathan did not blame him for feeling that way. When Justin entered the kitchen and saw Russell standing there, he stopped in his tracks and an expression of both shock and anger blanketed his face.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“There’s a lot of stuff we need to talk about,” Nathan said.
“Um, no shit,” Justin retorted. His eyes continuously switched back and forth between Nathan and Russell. “Let’s get to it.”

Nathan explained everything to Justin from the vision he had the night before, Russell’s call for help, up to when he and Russell returned home to find the Shadow in the apartment.
Justin gave Russell the most abrasive look Nathan had ever seen him give to anyone before. “So this is all because of you?”
“Don’t come in here blaming me for all this shit!” Russell screamed.
“And don’t fuckin yell at me!” Justin retorted in the same thunderous tone of voice. The kitchen table trembled slightly and the windows rattled.
“For a whole goddamn year me and Blake had to sit around and listen to Nathan mope around and complain about your dumb ass. And now you’re here in our fuckin house and this shit happens! You better be lucky nothing happened to any of us.”

Nathan knew Russell was fuming with rage, struggling to contain himself. “Justin, all of this isn’t Russell’s fault…
“Of course you would say that, Nate. You’re still fuckin obsessed with him.”
“Justin, you need to check yourself right now. Don’t blame Russell.”
“Why are you even helping him?” Justin asked. “He dumped you and now you’re helping him find the dude he left you for…do you know how stupid that is?"

Nathan wanted to punch Justin right then and there, but not in front of Russell. He managed to keep his mouth closed.
“I’m gonna go,” Russell broke in. “Nate, I’ll talk to you later about this.”

Russell brushed past Nathan and Justin out of the kitchen, striding toward the front door.
Nathan followed him all the way outside to Russell’s car.
“Wait up a minute.”
“Just go back inside, Nate.”
“No. I still need to talk to you.”

Russell whirled around. “What the hell is there to talk about, Nate? Justin's right. I shouldn’t have called you. I shouldn’t have asked you to get involved in all of this. I shouldn’t have bothered you. We should’ve just kept things the way they were. I should’ve just stayed away from you.”
While there was plenty of truth to what Russell said, it still hurt Nathan’s feelings. “What happened to Andrew isn’t your fault, Russell.”
“I should’ve been there. I could’ve got there faster.”

There would be no persuading Russell from believing that he could not have prevented Andrew’s disappearance. “Russell, I don’t think you should go back to your apartment tonight. It’d be better if you stayed here…at least until the morning.”
Russell scoffed. “Yeah, and have Justin bitch at me all night and Blake try to whoop my ass? I think I have a better chance with this Shadow thing.
“I still wanna help you.”

Russell looked stunned by Nathan’s response. “Why?”
“I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to help you find Andrew. It wouldn’t be right to just stop right now.”
“Nate, this thing followed you because of me. If you hadn’t come over to my place tonight, it probably wouldn’t have come here.”
“No. I think it would’ve come here anyway.”
“Why do you think that?”
“That’s what I need to figure out.”

Russell put both hands to his head and sighed. “I don’t know what to do anymore. None of this shit seems real to me. I don’t see how you could look at this so fuckin normally.”
“Believe me, I don’t.”
“Like I said, Russell, I think it’d be better if you stayed here tonight. You could sleep in my room…”
“And where would you sleep then?”
“…With Blake. I’ll sleep with him in his room tonight. Just to make sure he’s okay.”

Nathan picked up on a shred of jealousy emanating from Russell’s brain. “No, that won’t work,” Russell decided, shaking his head. “But thanks anyway.” He turned around to walk away. Nathan ran up to him and grabbed him lightly by his muscular arm. Despite the cold air, somehow, Russell felt warm.
“Don’t go," Nathan pleaded.

He’s making this too hard for me, Nathan heard Russell think. He saw flickering images of both himself and Andrew in Russell’s mental eye. In one scene Russell kissed Andrew passionately in his car. Nathan could not tell if this was an actual memory or a created one. In the next instant, Russell imagined himself kissing Nathan right then and there in the cold, quiet night.
Nathan let go of Russell’s arm and took a few steps back. He could barely breathe or stand up straight.
“Good night, Nate."

It almost took a full minute for Nathan to regain his voice.
“Night, Russell.”
Nathan watched, still awestruck, as Russell got into his car and drove away. He waited until Russell’s car vanished from view, before he headed back into the house. As he entered the apartment, closed the door and locked it, a single thought scorched his brain:
He still loves me.