The Price For A Lifetime of Happiness

Robert has often thought that it would be easy for him to stop being gay if someone could convince him that a boy kissing another boy was nasty. He couldn't understand why Jason would think it was so terrible, and that fact alone hurt Robert more then word's like faggot. Robert had dreamed many nights about the moment that his lips would touch Jason's, and the feelings that he was sure to feel as Jason returned the kiss with equal passion. To Robert, a kiss between he and Jason was the most loving and beautiful thing that he could ever imagine. But hearing Jason call it nasty, hurt Robert in a way that is even this writer cannot describe.

Robert couldn't believe that he was already gambeling with his second chance for a new start. He hadn't even unpacked his belongings, and he's already wondering what it would be like to kiss that guy down the street. He already had the vision of Kenny shirtless emblazoned in his mind. At any given moment, he could close his eyes and see all of it just as clearly as if his eyes where open. But it was when Robert closed them, that he could see whatever he wanted to see. Even himself walking across the street towards Kenny's house. In his mind, he can see himself like he's walking a few steps behind. Kenny doesn't see Robert as he walked up quietly and picked up the hose. Robert started squirting water all over the boy he's yet to meet Kenny jumped to his feet and turned to see Robert standing there with the hose.

"HEY!" Kenny says with a friendly smile.

"Hey youself! whatever your name is." Robert replied.

"You'll find out what my name is soon enough." Kenny said

"I guess I thought that you looked familair." Robert says.

"Welcome to the neighborhood, um........whatever your name is?" Kenny says

"My name is Robert, and I noticed that you where looking over at my house."

"I was looking, but are you sure that it was as it your house that I was looking at Robert?." Kenny said

"Well, whatever you where looking at, I'm sure you where just being neighborly, right?" Robert said.

"Of course, it's written in the bible, ya know? Love thy neighbor." Kenny said stepping closer to Robert.

"Yeah, I've heard that before. So um.......... do you?" Robert said stepping closer to Kenny.

"Do I what?" Kenny said as he walked right up and got face-to-face with Robert.

"Do you love your neighbors?" Robert said softly as he dropped the hose at their feet.

"Just one! You're the only neighbor that I love Robert." Kenny said.

"I'll love you too, But I'm afraid that you'll hurt me?" Robert said.

"Hurt you? I couldn't hurt you, I love you!" Kenny said as he pressed his lips against Robert's 
Robert could see himself and Kenny standing there, kissing each other not caring if anyone might see them, or might already watching. You can't hide love like this.

Robert was snapped back to reality by the sound of his father's voice. It was making an echo in the nerly empty moving truck where Robert had sat while he had his little daydream. 

"What are you trying to do? get arrested on our first day here?" Robert's dad said.

Robert opened his eyes just as his dad dropped a box right into his lap. The pain shot right out the top of Robert's head. That's when he realized that his dad had just dropped a heavy box directly ontop of his erection. He lifted the box as was shocked by the magnitude to which it tented the front of his pants. Now his dad's comment about getting arrested made sense. He was embarrassed, yet not enough to keep from laughing. 

"You think that's funny? You wouldn't be laughing if your mom came out here and saw that." His dad said.

"Or tripped over it!" Robert said.

"You wish smartass! - Now go get in the shower and cool things down?" His dad said.

"Okay, Sorry Pop" Robert said

For nearly a week, Robert and Kenny did nothing more then steal glances at each other. Robert was anxious to start school, but his old school was dragging their feet sending his transcripts. He wanted to talk to Kenny so badly. He wanted to ask him about the pictures that he found of the boy that used to have his bedroom. They where tucked up in a small space in the closet as if someone intentionally hid them. Kenny was in some of the pictures going back years. There was one picture that was obviously taken at a birthday party, and it captured Kenny and Mark in the background. Robert could see that Kenny was looking at the boy as he looked off in another direction. It reminded him of the way that he often looked at Jason whenever he felt it was safe. He wondered if Kenny had ever loved this boy, or might he still be in love. And did that mean that he couldn't or wouldn't be able to love him.

But soon enough that day came when Robert was cleared to start school. He stood behind a tree in his front yard looking towards Kenny's house. He knew that Kenny would pull out of his driveway and head down the street away from him. His only hope was that Kenny would see him before he got to his car, and he did. 

Robert walked slowly along the curb and watched as Kenny sat in the car with the motor running. He couldn't walk any slower, and eventually passed Kenny's house. By the time he was reached the stop sign on the corner, he heard the sound of Kenny's car approaching from behind. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and he took in a deep breath. Out of instinct, Robert glanced to his left, and saw the passenger window as it rolled down.

"Hey! - You're the new guy across the street, aren't you?" Kenny said.

"Um...yeah. My name is Robert." He said.

"You're finally going to school, huh! - Hope in!" Kenny said.

When Robert got in the car, Kenny stuck out his hand for a formal introduction. When their hands touched, electricity flowed all over the inside of that car. It was obvious and neither boy could do anything to try and hide the lustful connection between them. It was as arousing, as it was akward. The conversation between them was pathetically trivial, and hard to maintain as each boys mind was filled with wanton desire. By the time that they arrived it school, neither could recall much of anything that was said between them. 

Kenny pointed Robert in the direction of the office, and that was the last he had seen of him for the remainder of the day. He looked around the parking lot after school hoping to see Robert, but he never did. As he pulled into his driveway, he saw that Robert was already home, changed, and shooting baskets in the hoop that he had helped Mark put up years ago. He had a brief thought about not letting himself fall into that trap. But he couldn't deny whatever that was thet he felt when he touched Roberts hand in the car that morning.

Robert didn't notice that Kenny was home as he tried for a three pointer and missed. "YOU SUCK!" he heard loudly from down the street. He knew it was Kenny who said it, and it made Robert smile as he muttered to himself. "I suck? no I haven't, but I will."

He saw Kenny tug at his shirt, and that was enough for him to know that it meant "I'm gonna change my clothes, and I'll be right over." Kenny finally appeared in Robert's driveway and they played horse for nearly an hour. Finally they where able to keep from that akward feeling. Robert's mom arrived home, and as mother's do, she offered to fix the boys something to eat.

Kenny was just fine until he stepped through the front door of Seversons new house. Even the different furnature couldn't mask the fact that this was Mark's house. Going into Kenny's bedroom was even more difficult for him. It was Marks's old bedroom, and he stood in the doorway and didn't move until Robert told him to come in. That's when Robert knew that his suspicions about the pictures was correct. He saw the uncertain look on Kenny's face, and knew that he'd have the same look if he where to ever step foot in Jason's bedroom. Robert could feel Kenny's pain and it was hurting him just as much. He knew that he was about to risk everything, his second chance, his piece of mind. He was about to break his vow, but there was very little that could be done about that. All of this was beyond his control. Robert took in a deep breath before he said anything.

"It's my bedroom now Kenny. He doesn't live here anymore." 

"Who Robert? What do you know about who's bedroom this used to be?"

"Nothing, except that he hurt you Kenny. I don't know how, but he really hurt you" 

"Yeah well. I don't want to talk about that Robert, okay?" 

"Okay, I just thought you should know Kenny, that's all! I just wanted you to know." 

"Know what Robert? What is it that I should know?" 

"That I'd never do that, I'd never hurt you Kenny, I swear!" 

"Are you trying to make me cry, or something? What am I supposed to say to that Robert?" 

"Say that I'm crazy Kenny! Tell me you have no idea what I'm talking about?"

"You know what I'm thinking, don't you Robert? - How do you know?, you read minds or something?"

"It doesn't matter Kenny, Whatever I know doesn't make it true until you tell me it's true"

"I'm afraid Robert, what if it's not what you think it is? 

"Then it's not what we dream about Kenny? Is that what you're telling me? Tell me I'm wrong then."

"I don't even know you, so why I'm so in love with you? Explain that to me Robert!"

"I'm sure it's the same reason why I'm in love with you, but I don't care why or how. I just love you Kenny"

They both hugged each other closely there in the middle on Robert's bedroom. It was no longer Mark's room, or his house. All of that had just been washed away forever. As they hugged, Kenny heard Robert speak so softly, that he almost didn't hear it. When Robert's words "kiss me" reached Kenny brain, he didn't waste a second doing what Robert had asked of him. As their lips touched for the first time, it was somthing greater then both had ever imagined it would be. A cold chill passed through Kenny's body, and Robert felt him shiver. He could feel the the hairs rise on the back of Kenny's neck as kissed his first and only lover for the first time.

They weren't exacty alone either. That chill that Kenny felt was the spirit of his father coming to check on his son. It's all so very clear to Richard Nygarrd now. He remembers those last few seconds of his life as that plane fell from the sky, and he called out. -- No!.......he yelled out to God. 

"Please don't let this happen! - I don't want Kenny to live a lifetime of sadness! - Please God! - Oh Please!
I WILL GIVE ANYTHING, PLEASE!" Richard yelled out.

He thought he pleas hadn't been heard, but they where, and the deal was made. It was signed, sealed , and delivered with his last words "I'll give anything" Those where his word's, and the very instant that flight 2617 slammed into the ground, the deal was done Jack! -- It was stamped "PAID IN FULL" That's when everything was set in motion so that Kenny would be spared a lifetime of sadness. It was done at the request of his dying father, and paid for with his sole.

Robert and Kenny start to kiss very passionately. It's difficult for each of them to fight back the emotions that make them want to cry so badly. As their tongues wrestle in a kiss more intimate then any other, they find it difficult to remain standing. There is an overwhelming sense of surrender that's left them battleworn and weary form the war that they've waged in a bloody fight to love, and be loved. Kenny guided Robert back into his bed and crawled over him to kiss him. In his mind, all that he can think about is never wanting to stop. He can feel his erection pressed firmly against Roberts, and thoughts about the love that has yet to be shared, comsumes them both. And no matter how difficult it may be, Kenny eventually has to say good bye, and leave Robert alone until they can be together again in the morning.

Soon they will be tested to see if the love that they've hoped for, and have now realized will withstand the news that they have share a connection. And that is that one of their fathers died in the other's place. 

To be continued...